Like I said, if a person is capable. Obviously, if you're too sick, handicapped, etc., you'll need someone to change it. I had a tough nurse who made me give myself shots and do my ostomy stuff before I left the hospital. Then, I had a home healthcare nurse come for 6 weeks and work with me on changing stuff, so I was lucky.
AlexT
Feb 11, 2025 12:05 am
Marjatta
Feb 11, 2025 10:01 am
Hi talktomeallday2012,
You've already received some very good advice here about not making it about your ostomy when it comes to dating. You may have already been in some relationships that have taught you the really important things, specifically, the qualities you loved in your partner and what they loved about you.
Sexual attractiveness is so much more than your physical attributes. It's in the way you can wink and undress someone with your eyes. It's in the way that you can make someone laugh and feel loved and excited about themselves! It's in your attitude and appreciation for them that will endear them to you.
Unless you're just looking for a one-night stand, chances are that you are hoping for something longer term. Not only a lover, but also a best friend who will support you no matter what, and vice versa. At the end of the day, your ostomy ain't gonna amount to a hill of beans in the big scheme of things. Even the youngest and fittest of us all will eventually succumb to old age and its myriad of health issues. God help the young person who relies solely on their physical attractiveness to acquire what is meaningful ... for they will likely face a very lonely and empty future.
Your own future can have more love than you ever imagined!
M
xo
MeetAnOstoMate is a remarkable community of 41,452 members.
“Every morning with my coffee, I read here and feel wrapped in warmth - I hardly post, but it still feels like family.”
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Justbreathe
MeetAnOstoMate website turned out to be a lifesaver for me. I say this because, for me, this ostomy journey was a devastating event both physically and mentally.
Here, I found folks who understood my feelings even better than my family or friends could. Only a fellow ostomate can understand how you really feel.
Information sharing is key, as well as support and understanding, to ultimately bring more harmony into our ostomy life journey. I found here, virtually no ostomy questions that are not touched upon. Questions which some might feel, may be too trivial to contact a doctor about or even too shy or embarrassed to ask their own doctor about. They are all addressed here.
For me, anonymity was very helpful in seeking answers to each phase of this life changing medical and mental event. Sharing initial trauma feelings, ongoing support and finally acceptance was what I found with my membership here. I am not sure what my mental and physical attitude would be today without having found this site.
Additional benefits included: finding products and ideas to help with daily maintenance, innovative ideas and as a bonus - some great humor.
After all “laughter IS the best medicine”.
I have been a member for 3 years, an ostomate for 4 years - yes, I certainly wish I would have found it immediately after surgery but so very thankful I finally found it when I did as I truly believe it turned my troubled depression and situation into a more positive attitude and acceptance.
Sincerely,
An Ileostomate nicknamed Justbreathe 🫶🏼
Liger
Feb 11, 2025 3:03 pm
Wow! Beautifully spoken 👏🏻👍🏻❤️ Especially paragraph 2. You could be a romance writer 📝
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Hugo
Feb 11, 2025 3:49 pm
You definitely are a straight-to-the-point type. You tell the truth exactly as you see it. I can be guilty of “beating around the bush,” which really doesn't help at all.
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Jsjdjwu44
Feb 13, 2025 11:58 pm
I can so relate! I see your picture also. It looks like a grandbaby. I just had my first grandbaby! Best blessing besides my own babies!
Mr Brightside
Apr 08, 2025 3:03 pm
How do you know that they wouldn't have anything to do with someone with an ostomy? This is a pitfall in our own psyche that because we're not the same as those without, we're somehow less and therefore undateable...
Everyone fears rejection, ostomy or not. We don't have sole rights to the fear of rejection.
I'm in the same boat, single, divorced, almost on the wrong side of 40. Don't tell someone right away, but get to know them a little first. You'll soon get the impression if they are worthy of you sharing personal details with them. Those that matter won't care, and those that care don't matter...
The only thing you need to care about is looking after yourself and just being calm and approachable.
T (UK)