Like I said, if a person is capable. Obviously, if you're too sick, handicapped, etc., you'll need someone to change it. I had a tough nurse who made me give myself shots and do my ostomy stuff before I left the hospital. Then, I had a home healthcare nurse come for 6 weeks and work with me on changing stuff, so I was lucky.
AlexT
Feb 11, 2025 12:05 am
Marjatta
Feb 11, 2025 10:01 am
Hi talktomeallday2012,
You've already received some very good advice here about not making it about your ostomy when it comes to dating. You may have already been in some relationships that have taught you the really important things, specifically, the qualities you loved in your partner and what they loved about you.
Sexual attractiveness is so much more than your physical attributes. It's in the way you can wink and undress someone with your eyes. It's in the way that you can make someone laugh and feel loved and excited about themselves! It's in your attitude and appreciation for them that will endear them to you.
Unless you're just looking for a one-night stand, chances are that you are hoping for something longer term. Not only a lover, but also a best friend who will support you no matter what, and vice versa. At the end of the day, your ostomy ain't gonna amount to a hill of beans in the big scheme of things. Even the youngest and fittest of us all will eventually succumb to old age and its myriad of health issues. God help the young person who relies solely on their physical attractiveness to acquire what is meaningful ... for they will likely face a very lonely and empty future.
Your own future can have more love than you ever imagined!
M
xo
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Posted by: Bagface
Angelica- As usual, you've written another interesting post. February 5th, 2019, was my reversal surgery after having an ileo for 6 months. I'm one of those fortunate success stories. Of course, things are different now, and I still have to be careful about what and how much I eat, as I don't have a colon. At first, I was afraid to leave the house. My biggest fear was having to use a public bathroom and have the toilet not flush! Even now, when I know that I'll be in someone else's home, I won't eat anything beforehand. I read other people's stories and sometimes feel guilty for having had it so easy, not to mention that I have a significant other who is 100 percent supportive. I've gotten so much out of this website and truly feel for those of you who have it so much worse than I. But I feel it necessary to let folks hear about the success stories.
Liger
Feb 11, 2025 3:03 pm
Wow! Beautifully spoken 👏🏻👍🏻❤️ Especially paragraph 2. You could be a romance writer 📝
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Hugo
Feb 11, 2025 3:49 pm
You definitely are a straight-to-the-point type. You tell the truth exactly as you see it. I can be guilty of “beating around the bush,” which really doesn't help at all.
My Ostomy Journey: Ryan | Hollister
Jsjdjwu44
Feb 13, 2025 11:58 pm
I can so relate! I see your picture also. It looks like a grandbaby. I just had my first grandbaby! Best blessing besides my own babies!
Mr Brightside
Apr 08, 2025 3:03 pm
How do you know that they wouldn't have anything to do with someone with an ostomy? This is a pitfall in our own psyche that because we're not the same as those without, we're somehow less and therefore undateable...
Everyone fears rejection, ostomy or not. We don't have sole rights to the fear of rejection.
I'm in the same boat, single, divorced, almost on the wrong side of 40. Don't tell someone right away, but get to know them a little first. You'll soon get the impression if they are worthy of you sharing personal details with them. Those that matter won't care, and those that care don't matter...
The only thing you need to care about is looking after yourself and just being calm and approachable.
T (UK)