Stoma Safety: Intimacy Do's and Don'ts

Dec 28, 2019 6:06 am

Hi gang,

Did that title get your attention... thought it would. So, in another post Cplumber mentioned checking out the site... so I did. That's where, under the "Sexuality" topic, I found this nugget.

"MYTH: Body movements and pressure of our bodies during sex will hurt my stoma.

TRUTH: Close body contact and movement during sex won't hurt your stoma. However, nothing (fingers, objects) should be put into the stoma. A stoma is not a sexual organ."

Now that I finally stopped laughing, I can honestly say... I never once (not even for a second) have ever considered sticking my "you-know-what" in a gal's stoma. And I don't think I'll ever be able to get THAT visual out of my head. Now please... I beg you... if you've ever used your stoma for sex... PLEASE DON'T TELL ME.





Dec 28, 2019 8:40 am

Hello  Bob.

We had a similar post on here a while back and it recieved a few comments such as your own.

Best wishes


Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 34,000 members who truly understand you.

It's not all about ostomy. We talk about everything.

Many come here for advice or to give advice, others have found good friends, and some have even found love. Most importantly, people here are honest and genuinely care.

🛑 Privacy is very important - we have many features that are only visible to members, ensuring a safe and secure environment for you to share and connect.

Create an account and you will be amazed by the warmth of this community.

Dec 28, 2019 1:46 pm

Only you Bob, only you.

All I can add to this topic is when I got my stoma, my wife was making suggestions that you can have sex in your stoma. She visited some porno sites apparently to gain some useless, sick, perverted insight to the subject. I looked at her like she was talking through her ass and I said, "You must be very stupid to believe anything can fit inside this thing." She was firm believing what she read. It made me realize what a dope she was to believe such nonsense, then tell me it was true about the sex/stoma thing. Yeah right, you idiot. It goes to show you how people believe anything they read on the web. I don't believe for a minute this organ can be stimulated, let alone have anything put inside it.

Gee whiz, how disgusting and perverted are some people? You're right Bob, can't get that image out of my head.

I do recall a post where the topic was "Sex and Stoma," but this guy was referring to the normal way people have sex, more specifically anal sex. Not using the stoma at all. And get this folks, on here actually assumed he meant stoma sex. The guy freaked out because that was not his question. He happened to be gay. Not that THAT has anything to do with it, but people's thoughts ran amok.

The only thing I would be concerned about is stomach-to-stomach facing sex. If there would be a chance the stoma can be pushed back into the stomach, that's as far as I will go on the matter of stoma sex. Please note that in instances like this, a stoma guard is probably the best thing to wear. Go have wonderful sex now. Cheers.

Dec 28, 2019 7:18 pm

If humans evolved from lesser creatures, what creatures might have been less dignified than the “WHO” Bob references? Sorry Mr.Darwin.

Dec 28, 2019 11:04 pm had me rolling, brother!! You're funny as shit.........maybe you should have done stand-up comedy! The idea that having sex with someone's stoma could be thought of as "anal sex" never crossed my mind.......but guess it could as it was once attached to your ass before the Doc cut it off and stuck it through your abdomen. I'm just glad I ate dinner well BEFORE I read your reply and wrote this reply post.

Bill.........sorry for replicating a subject. When I read that note on the ostomy site I was laughing out loud and said I NEEDED to share this with you guys! It never crossed my mind that it could have been discussed on here previously. Guess I'm still naive in some ways about this site.

Mike.......I think even Darwin, if he were alive today, would admit the evidence needed to fill in the blanks in his theory should have been found by now (and have not). He's even quoted as saying so, in that for his theory to be correct the missing links between species (that he predicted) should be found in the very near future. That was a long time ago. Now I'm also not big on the "God" theory, but old Darwin's answer is getting a little long in the tooth. Maybe we need a third possibility. Has anyone noticed the US now has a Space Force and all branches of our military now admit to having had dealings with craft that are unidentified and perform beyond anything we can build? Got a funny feeling that the third possibility is about to make itself known fairly soon, and it's gonna be a doozy.



How to Manage Ostomy Leaks with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Dec 29, 2019 2:13 am

Once again, I gotta agree with you... there is definitely life "out there".

As for the stoma sex thing, I was traumatized early on regarding this subject. Shortly after I had my emergency surgery and woke up with a stoma, I was told by a nurse not to have sex through it. I remember being like "What?! Who would do that?... Ouch!".

Dec 29, 2019 6:00 am

Hi New,

Yeah, I'm right there with ya. When I heard a few years back that Richard Gere was putting gerbils up his ass, I thought I had heard it all. I was wrong. Now I hear about stoma sex. I REFUSE to Google it. Just won't go there. I'm waiting for someone to chime in saying they wear a butt plug in their stoma!



Dec 29, 2019 6:41 am

OMG you guys crack me up....Ewwwwwwww, what a gross thing that would stoma bleeds enough just wiping it during change...Bob, it is true that gay guys will sometimes put gerbils up into their anus niece is a nurse and she told me stories about those happenings in the ER...each to their own I guess...LOL


Past Member
Dec 29, 2019 6:55 am

Yes, it's amazing what some idiots believe, but the stoma is one particular orifice that is definitely designed as an exit point, not entry.*

And newnormal, seriously WTF is up with the medical community? I remember ages ago one woman posted that her surgeon told her that if he removed her rectum, there would be no more anal sex. Like, as a straight woman, why would that concern her? Any partner wanting to do that is in the closet, as far as I can tell. In the words of Kramer on Seinfeld, "There will be no inserting in that area"!?

Can't believe I'd almost forgotten about that Richard Gere story, Bob. EWWWW, another image that I don't want in my head, hey! Thanks for the laugh anyway, after all, "There's nowt as queer as folk!"


Past Member
Dec 29, 2019 7:09 am

I have a friend who works in the ER, and I myself have worked in Radiology where I have seen the end result of what has been inserted apparently "accidentally" because of course we all leave large jam jars/fluorescent light tubes/torches/beer bottles just laying around the shower where we have slipped and fallen on them. "It was a million to one shot, doc, a million to one!" LOL!

Dec 29, 2019 8:05 am

Hello Bob. Wait no longer! the anal plugs I used to use for incontinence are much the same as the stoma plugs I now use daily. The only difference is that the stoma plugs don't expand quite as much and consequently are easier to remove.
'A plug by any other name - '

Best wishes


Dec 29, 2019 9:40 pm

Oh lawd, why did I click this topic.. People are crazy.

Way back when I first got my stoma, when I was young and spry and partying with my peeps, some inebriated person asked if stoma sex was possible. I said nope, it ain't. Leave it to liquor to disclose what the horndogs are really thinking. "But it's a hole!" So is your sink disposal.

I could've just clicked, read, laughed, and not commented, and no one would've known I clicked.

Dec 30, 2019 2:42 am

A long lasting laugh at the hospital where I worked had to do with the guy who came to the ER with a huge vibrator he couldn't remove from his butt.  After a procedure and recovery the hospital protocol was followed and when being discharged he was asked, "Do you have everything you came in with?"  One of the two nurses at his side became histerical and discharged a wad of snot that landed on the poor guys forehead.  I think she's still laughing.


Jan 03, 2020 6:55 am


C' know why you clicked on this topic......because you're as wacky as the rest of us. We need to have a little fun with this stuff or we'll all go nuts! Especially us who now have a cul-de-sac for an asshole.

Mike.......that's hysterical!! The shit they must see could fill a book....I'm sure.



Feb 09, 2020 4:08 am

When I was still in the hospital after the initial colostomy, the nurse/educator warned me about that very thing. The only thing that went through my mind was "What kind of sick f**k would even consider that??"

It's kinda like the warning on the chainsaw I bought:


What????!!!!!! Who would do that??

Feb 09, 2020 6:41 am

Ummmmm............well......I didn't intentionally stop the chain with my just sort of happened. Now I wear Kevlar pants.



Feb 21, 2020 6:36 am

Hello Fred383.   They say 'a picture is worth a thousand words'.  So, there is a picture of a stoma plug on my profile  for you to peruse.  Mine are supplied by Coloplast, who I am sure would send you some samples if you asked them  to. I have no idea about purchasing this stuff as I get all my supplies courtesy of the NHS. 

As for procedures: It is a straightforward plug attached to a flange. All you need to do is remove the plastic cover to expose the adhesive surface  and push the plug into the stoma. I have a peristomal hernia, so I need to digitally make a hole for mine , otherwise it will not go in on its own. However, there was a time when I could simply push it in without any preparation. 

Best wishes


Dec 03, 2021 11:15 pm
Reply to Bill

Not only is this a dumb idea, the thing that amazes me is I don't know how many people really do realize that your intestine, which is your stoma, has absolutely no feelings. No nerve endings, no nothing. I want a my check-ins with my doctor, he put his finger in my stoma and I felt absolutely nothing. So it wouldn't work anyway. Andy

Dec 04, 2021 10:17 am
Reply to amayrfd

Wow, this is an old thread!

Amayrfd, I need to correct you. Not only are there nerves in our intestines, there's a whole separate nervous system there, which is larger than our central nervous system. It's called our Enteric Nervous System and has more than five times as many neurons as the number of neurons in the spinal cord. It's why we feel pain when we get inflammation, or get bloated or have a blockage. Ask anyone who's had a blockage that didn't clear for hours what pain feels like and it'll be obvious that we have nerves in our intestines. Lots of them. When we get a stoma they fold back the intestine and stitch it to our abdominal wall. That rolled back portion of our intestine becomes desensitized over time, so you can touch it and smack it a bit before it really hurts. But you hit it hard enough and you will feel it. You didn't feel anything because your doctor's finger wasn't bigger than how much the intestines can comfortably stretch. But if his finger was 3 or 4 times'd have felt very differently about the amount of pain you'd have felt.

I think what you're trying to say is there wouldn't be any pleasure associated with sticking something up one's stoma, and that's true (I think). I've never had anal sex with anyone, but I don't believe it's done for the pleasure of the person with the ass that's being used as a substitute's done for the inserter's pleasure, not the receiver's. Although, who knows......there might be some wingnuts out there that like the feeling of having something stuck up their ass........I'm a little out of my league on this subject. Anybody want to chime in?



Feb 10, 2023 9:30 am

Hi Guys , just kind of bumped into this crazy conversation again . A Lady Pen-zpal of mine writes on a site where people contribute Naughty and Very !! Naughty stories . Many are Real and many are fiction and Non-Ostomy related...But ... It was suggested by this wonderfully horny , sexy lady that there is a subculture out there who do indeed use the Stoma for this Unthinkable activity ...YUCK !! . I told her that if they do then the attraction is not the Surgical Hole in the belly but an attraction ( YUCK once again !!) To the Yucky stuff that flows out of there every minute of every day , for me at least !! . There are no muscles around the Stoma , no Sphincter so any pleasure achieved would not be in the same Ballpark as Vaginal Or Anal sex . Not having ever participared in Anal sex I guess I'm making ass- umptions ( OL ) here . The tightness of the Oriface has a lit to do with feelings of pleasure so if the Oriface is a Stoma there would be little resistance / tightness to be experienced . A variable flow of brown stinky shit is what a person would get . The only logic for enjoyingthis ' Shitstorm'would an attraction to Shitstorms in general whether out the Rectum/ Anus or out the Stoma . I believe the scientific term for such an attraction would be Copraphilia ( not looking that up on Google ...imagine the Ads I would get in my Google , Gmail Inbox ...LOL !!!Iconcluded that people might indeed give this activity a shot but for purely Fetish value and not as just another cavity to be filled by Mr Johnson and his Helmet LOL ...

To wander into the Tall Grass here ...she writes about S Mwith "Japanese Rope "Activity' . She explains this as people who have too much responsibility in everyday life , people who have to be always in control of every situation ...a sort of Micromanager who wants to control their work and home life ...will sometimes need to give up control , totally !! This makes sense actually . The subject is artfully tied with ropes placed in particular patterns and on particular areas of the body . The subject is no longer responsible for what happens and may actually find a sense of relief in being " off the hook" ( while literally being On A Hook!!! ) for whatever happens . Sexual satisfaction is "administered " by the person doing the tying by stimulation sexually sensitive parts of thd body , male and female . She sent me a short Videxample of this Rope Activity in action and both parties were having the time of their lives although there was pain and some discomfort involved . My Clinical Psychologist swimming lady friend back in Ireland mentioned that this comes up for patients , wanting to hand over their Control to someone else and feel freedom from pressure for a short time . The other half of the equation is the person who controls the situation . It's not about Inflicting pain but about being the person in the room who has all the control over another person for a short time .

You would really and sincerely have to have total faith and trust in the other person if doing this ...could be dangerous if the person in control gets a bit too enthusiastic and forgets about limits . Unless you are Houdin Reborn I would not suggest trying this with some person your picked up in a pub Forrest Gump said ..."Life is like a box of chocolates , you never know what you're gonna get .."

There are so many pathways to pleasure , sexual and otherwise . If he can't get it up like he used to before surgery there are many physical pleasures that do not involve the Penis or the Vagina . I've been lucky in that my parts seem to work bettef than ever !! I'm happy to say ....all I need now is someone to share my Parts with !! It's a shame to see them go to waste the Ad used to say .........".a mind ( Penis orVag ) is a terrible thing to waste ..LOL . I know that Kitty would want me to share my gift andgood fortune of functional male anatomywith some woman somewhere....but that's okI can live without if I have to , did it before !! If it happens again it would be nice life does what life does , can't control everything , right ??!! Magoo