Anyone else totally lost and alone before the "Bag" even gets a mention...?
I thought unlike App on Phone not just left/right and all about looks.
Sure a few "Checks" and always on the other side of the World but still no replies.
Am I really that bad? Running out of reasons to keep trying, 48 years has been bad enough with a bag.
Sad lonely man
Hi. Australia must be a beautiful place. I just joined in here and I'm finding out how to move around. I go to the chat room, but no one ever chats. I posted in forums, then get responses on issues. Maybe try that?
MeetAnOstoMate is a remarkable community of 41,403 members.
“I mostly read and still feel like I belong.”
“Doctors took notes; they want others to find this website.”
“From midnight blowouts to big wins, there’s always a hand to hold.”
Well, I hit the two year mark. I went back and read my posts from when I first found this site. I was very fortunate in that I stumbled upon it only 4 weeks post op. I have said many times that this community really saved me. The first 2 weeks after my surgery I shut down completely. It wasn't until about the 3rd week that my son came in to my room, flicked on the light and told me I was going to have to get back to living because I was scaring him. I had fallen into such a depression. He ticked me off, but it also made me stop and think- what was I going to do? Feel sorry for myself and sulk, or be grateful I was alive.
I've re-read my journals from that time and it was after my son kicked my butt, so to speak, I took an honest inventory and had to dig deeper than I've ever had to. I mean, I had survived a pretty nasty divorce, after a pretty crappy marriage and that was tough. But this was different. I felt like I was now a handicapped person who would be limited in their life and be looked at as a freak. My mental state was precarious, at best.
But then I found this site. I just lurked a bit before posting. I read so many of the other stories and I started to see just how full my life can be, I was not handicapped, and certainly not a freak! The stories of survival, the sense of humor, the support and compassion was inspiring. It was then I made myself get out of the dark, and get my sh*t together.
Not all rainbows and sunshine at first, hardly! But with grace from myself - to myself, and the kindness and willingness of the folks here to be supportive, non judgemental and openly share intimate details about their life circumstances, l not only survived but thrived.
I think of all the years I had suffered with such extreme pain, barely functioning, and the many hospital stays and how that is all behind me now. (All fingers, toes, and legs crossed that I never have to go near a hospital for myself ever again. I think I'd rather have a fork stuck in my eye. I loathe every about them.)
So, to everyone who has been a part of this journey with me, to say thank you is not enough. I'm forever grateful to know you all. My Angels, each one of you.
And as the Grateful Dead famously said,
"what a long strange trip it's been!"
Im so happy I'm tripping with you all.
No, I never found having a bag a problem. I've had mine since I was 19. At 51, I've always been very open and confident about having a bag and talking about it to anyone. It always puts them at ease to show that it's nothing to fear. I've had a few ladies once or twice say, "I won't jump on your stomach." My reply is always, "You better!" Using some humor and laughter is the best medicine to put anyone at ease, even bad jokes like mine work. LOL.
Hi BITDIFF,
Greetings from Oregon, USA. As far as forums, questions, and answers on here, just say what you want or ask about anything. We will be glad to talk or answer. There are many nice people on here who have been through their own life experiences and are willing to be there for you.
As far as having an ostomy, this is our normal life and we adjust to it accordingly. We live and adapt, and the rest of the world has to adjust to us.
Any specific questions? We are here for support. Please ask or say whatever is on your mind. You'll get several of us to talk with. ...mtnman.
I am just so happy to find this group to confide in and accept the new me. Thank you so much for being here.
So true... Some don't grasp why I've been so sarcastic the 19 years I'd been sick. Now with owning my ileostomy, I'm still that way. I used to call myself "The Poopie Princess"... now I say "I'm not an asshole anymore... I'm a bag lady".
Sorry, I used a curse word... I hope you get past it.
Hi there Ritz,
You are right eventually we have to own it. The world sees things that they don't understand. I'm a firm believer that we need each other because we have experienced it, and yes it's a journey. The rest of the population really can't know what we've been through therefore cannot conceive what we feel or what we are dealing with. We connect and bond with those of us who've had the major surgery(s) etc. because we can relate to what we've been through and live with.
Others can only offer support on the surface because they realistically can't know the physical and emotional impact an ostomy has in changing our lives. ....mtnman.
Hi BittDiff.
Please hang in there to chat with people in your same place!
We all have a bag, or had one at some point. Some of us have family or a spouse as a support system but some have no one. Those that have the most in common with you will pipe up when you post to the forum. Glad you found us and we are certainly here to help in any way we can. And as you can see if you have been reading in the forum, humor is a bonus!
Take care,
Puppyluv
Hey Bitdiff,
I'm not sure that looking for a relationship on a website is going to be what works for you. You are keen to present yourself as a free spirit - hence the name Bitdiff, and the colorful hair. You clearly are your own person. I happen to think that's great. In a world where everyone wants to look just like everyone else, I love to see someone who is comfortable enough in their own skin to buck the trend. I think that you might be better off finding a relationship in person, where your own individuality can shine. Another plus is that you're more likely to find someone who isn't on the other side of the world. So, the old fashioned way of looking for a relationship is through common interests - where you work, go to school, church, hobbies, etc. If that doesn't work, you need to figure out what's getting in the way. Maybe enlist the help of a good friend who will be honest for that one.
As far as ostomy issues, this is a wonderful site to ask questions, vent feelings, and maybe help someone else by providing some helpful tips of your own. We would love to hear from you anytime. You and your free spirit !!
Laurie