MeetAnOstoMate is a remarkable community of 41,455 members.
“Every morning with my coffee, I read here and feel wrapped in warmth - I hardly post, but it still feels like family.”
“Our oncologist literally wrote down the link; they said more patients need this website.”
“This place pulled me out of the dark. I went from lurking to living again.”
“At 3am, someone’s awake somewhere in the world. I’m never alone here.”
This group has been my go-to during my loneliest hours whenever I've had a "bag blowout" at 3am and there was no one else in the world to talk to.
Because it's a global community, there's always someone here to lend an ear, provide advice, and just hold my hand if that's all I need.
Sure, there's also a lot of camaraderie, fun topics, and laughs, but the main reason I come here is for the total acceptance I get from the members. No one else on the planet could possibly "get" what I'm going through, not even my loving husband or supportive family.
The "Meet an Ostomate" forum is definitely a one-of-a-kind family, which I am very proud to belong to.
M
xo
As Gus says, it's up to you. I managed to get through with my sense of humor and so only really had occasional days or parts of when I was down.
You have to try and think of the positives, and when you can't, a good cry always helps (though ideally, you don't do that in the middle of giving a high-level PowerPoint presentation to international movers and shakers).
It just takes time.
Cheers, Iain
It is a bumpy road, I am afraid. I was new to this last May after my surgery. They sent me home not really understanding a lot, or knowing the complications that can happen. I didn't have Crohn's like most everyone on this site; I had cervical cancer...still have cells. I have two bags, one for poo and one for pee. The pee one usually is the most trouble; it leaks and is flush to my stomach. Sometimes I go home from work and just cry and cry. When I tape the bags up so I can soak in my tub, I usually cry and cry because I hate the way I look. Most of the time I am accepting of it, but then realize it is not a temporary thing; I cry. I think you just have to get it out of your system. It isn't a natural thing that has happened to us and won't go away. No more bikinis for me. I know attitude is part of it, but sometimes the attitude sucks. I don't have leaking problems with the poo side; I use an Elkins wafer around it under my flange. No leaking. I just wash out one bag and put it up to dry and then put the other one on. I can make them last a long time that way. The flange I change once a week. This is a great site and wonderful caring people. Ask them anything; they are very informative...been there, done that. Jeanie in Georgia
Happy my love,
This is as bad as it gets; the doom and the gloom may be with you for a while. As the others said, we are all different. But it fades as you become fitter and used to the routine you will have to build into your daily life. This is losing a loved one: great shock and disbelief. We go through all the known stages of grief: denial, anger, and finally acceptance. This was exactly how I felt after my surgery; I thought I was a freak. Within a year, I attended to the bag, hardly thinking about it. I continued with my job as a nurse. Few people knew, only those I chose to tell. Now, 10 years on, I can honestly say that I hardly think about it between changes. I horse ride, travel to hot places (India). The only difference now is a few minutes' thought about packing a few bags and bits in a little makeup bag and making sure it's always there. There will be a few hitches at the beginning, but I promise you, the doom and gloom will go!!! Ride this storm; it will slowly pass.
Take care my love.
Tippitop
Dear 1Happyme,
You will in time get your life back in total with your new pouch and your new self. The advice the others have given is right on the mark.........Time will heal this wound you have encountered, and your emotional well-being will be sure to follow..........There will most certainly be a day you will not even remember you have a pouch on, and you will scratch your head and say WOW.........I made it through totally...........
I waited days and months to feel better about my situation, and now that I am 3 1/2 years post-surgery, I say WOW every day........It had taken me about a year to come to terms with it all, as my health kept steadily improving, and my life took on a wonderful turn, in all that I now realized I could do with my new pouch...........I have replaced being sick 24/7 with going to the gym 4x/wk......yoga 2-3x/wk...........I love my body again, I listen to music and let it take me away..I can relax all throughout the day..........All because of my pouch........
Give yourself the time to recover, both physically and emotionally.........And in the meantime, know that you have plenty of help and guidance on this site to help you through............Wishing you well...............Michael
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