Jeanne,
I have a very close friend named Laura who had a fistula between her rectum and vagina.
She was defecating through her vagina for several years. It was a terrible experience because there is no control. All she could do was wear lots of pads and carry spare undergarments all the time.
She had several surgeries to correct the problem at the University of Washington Hospital.
Through all of the operations, all they ended up doing was creating more scar tissue. Unfortunately, her condition worsened.
It is not in Laura's nature to give up, no matter how hopeless something seems. She finally came upon a surgeon who could and did fix her. She is not completely right, however, she now defecates through her anus with control. The surgeon told her if he had gotten to her before all of the earlier operations, he could have made her normal. However, there was so much scar tissue there was simply nothing to work with.
When I had all of my operations and problems, I went to see this same doctor as a last resort. When all others had failed, this surgeon was able to install a J pouch and make it work.
As it turns out, this surgeon takes on patients that other doctors have simply given up on.
You might get a kick out of this. When I was Senior VP at Arctic Alaska Seafoods, we were the largest seafood company in the world. We, mostly me, pioneered the at-sea concept of catching and processing the seafood on board the ship while at sea. We had over 20 of these huge at-sea factory ships, the biggest being the trawlers. We pulled nets over a mile in circumference, and had to pull aboard over a million pounds of fish every 24 hours to feed the factory, that is each ship! Perhaps that will give you an idea of the large scale I am talking about.
Anyway, to make a long story short, or maybe longer, I promoted Laura to Captain of the biggest ship we had. As far as I know, she was the only woman who ever ran one of the at-sea trawlers. She did a tremendous job. That was 20 years ago. We are still very close friends. When we talk about stuff, nothing is off-limits. Laura is the kind of friend a person, if they are very lucky, might have one of in their lifetime.
If you are considering another surgery and would like to talk to someone who has been through hell and back with the fistula problem, let me know. I will ask Laura if it is alright to give you her number. I know that it will be; it's the kind of person she is. Out of respect, I must ask first.
Rick.....