Managing Intimacy with an Ostomy Bag

Hi, I haven't figured out how to get to the forum yet where I can reply and answer your questions, so I'm putting some stuff here, lol...

Well, a lot of you are probably wondering how to have intimacy with the bag flapping away, about to knock your partner out, or worse, leak all over them, lol. Well, I would say get an ostomy belt that covers your ostomy. It's like a wrap that covers over your bag. Another tip for women: get the stoma belt, but also, when getting your sexy wear from somewhere like Anne Summers, maybe just let your partner know you feel more comfortable keeping your outfit on during intercourse as it can be washed, unlike your confidence. Right, I mean, I've been there where your partner prefers to see you, but I've cried and can't perform and got all anxious and, to put it mildly, feel like a sack of shit. But after constantly saying I don't buy outfits to take off, I buy outfits to gain confidence to be able to perform and not be reminded of the bag because without these things, all I can see is the bag, all I can hear is it waving in front of my face. It's not comfortable, I know, ladies and men. I know when you're trying to show off your abs and how small you're not, lol, the bag is much bigger. I feel you 😏 lol, but hold on in there. All you can do is hide it really and try to cover it with a stoma belt/wrap to stop that bag waving and saying, "Huh huh, whack," to your partner, lol. Anyway, I hope I have made you laugh and hope I helped 🤣🤣🤣

Hi Lexi!

Well... "here" is the forum. You found us!! Yeah, you made me laugh... and surprisingly (at least to me) this topic has been discussed quite a lot. Wraps, belts, and lingerie seem to be our best friends. There's even a specialty company that makes intimate apparel for ostomates... someone help me out here with the name... Ostomy Secrets or something. Trust me, having a bag on during sex isn't confidence-inspiring for guys or gals. But if your partner is okay with it, you're home free and making a big deal out of nothing. For partners less long-lasting, it does get dicey. Except on Halloween when you can tell your partner you're dressed up as an ostomate! Thanks for sharing... and search the forum when you can... you'll find some very interesting discussions about sex with an ostomy. I'll leave it there and not ruin the ending for ya!

Take care,

bob

Oh Bob, that's it. I haven't quite got around to testing a bustier yet, as I'm scared it will leak with that, and I'm alright there, lol. I could just picture it. But the belt works, but still, I miss my belly to this day. And yeah, my partner is pretty supportive and understanding, but when you used to go to the fairground at least every night, and you get the bag and go all out to the fairground just once a month, you do start to think, do they not get I'm still the same person? I don't just want to be married flatmates, lol.

Hi Lexi, you don't mention if you have a colostomy, ileostomy, or a urostomy, but if you have a colostomy, you might want to look into irrigation, in which after irrigating, you wouldn't have any output so you could use the smallest pouch or a stoma cap. As for me and my ileo, I just cut the waistband off a pair of underwear and wear it under my pouch so it drapes over it and doesn't hang down.

Once a month at the fairground would be an achievement for me, lol.

Only joking, but I know how you feel going from plenty and often to hardly any isn't much fun. I'm two years into mine and, like you, it was meant to be temporary.

Stories of Living Life to the Fullest from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister