Struggling with Depression After Receiving an Ostomy

Hello all! I'm only 22 and have had my ostomy since the end of this January. After waking up from my coma and receiving the news that my large intestine and a part of my colon had perforated, and that I needed an ostomy for an XYZ amount of time, I've struggled hard with my depression in the past, but it's much worse now. I've kind of been a couch potato because of it, and I'm afraid to be active like I used to be.
Mainly because when the therapists at the hospital, after I awoke, were trying to get me to move after my body shut down and gave up, I'd occasionally have my ostomy pad thing fall off a few times. Even though I'm home from the hospital and do my occasional exercises to keep my health up and my body from going weak, I'm still struggling mentally. Especially if I have a leakage, mainly the ones that threaten to leak into my open wound. (They kept my midsection open from the emergency surgery for when they reverse it).

   Hi there, 

Take one week or day at a time. This is a traumatic experience that we've all had to deal with, some harder than others. You are in the very best company here. You will get support, answers and friendship here.

I know you are young but there will be some people who have had their journey start at a very young age as well. 

I promise you will get many questions answered here. And yes depression is a normal thing that can happen. Afterwhile you will improve and so will your outlook. You just have to work at it. 

And yes depending on your situation there are meds that can help your mood, I have chronic back pain from injuring my back with an ostomy on top of that from colorectal cancer surgery. I am medically retired and it made a great difference for me. But everyone is different and so on. 

You will get others answering your post and please keep us updated with what transpires. 

Welcome to our family of ostomates,..mtnman. 

I am so sorry you had to deal with all of this! And it's okay to be depressed! The best part is you are trying to find answers. This site has a ton of people who will love to help you through all this! It's awesome to hear you have the option for a reversal. I can totally relate to your depression, and I will be praying for you! I had my large intestine removed when I was 28, and went on to have 7 kids and become a plumber. Now I am 54 and have 8 grandkids, so there are a lot of reasons to fight. I am thankful I hung in there to enjoy my kids and grandkids. It is a pain in the ass to deal with what you are going through, and it could be worse. You still have the chance to change the world or to help others, and that's a huge blessing.

I will be praying for you.

cplumber

You recognize what is going on; that is a good start. If it is really getting you down, seek professional help. For me, I was mad at everything. I had a couple of appointments and was able to deal with it myself. Look up instead of down.

Take care of yourself.

Hello Puglover22.
What a great name to choose, as canine companions can often be a great help when faced with depression.
I am so pleased to see that you have already had some constructive replies to your post. I would add my own endorsement that becoming depressed about something so stressful as having major surgery is ‘normal’ and should be approached as one would with any other major traumatic incident in one’s life. That is not to say that there is any one approach that is more effective than another. We are all different in the way we manage and deal with adverse events. Some of us need external help in the way of therapists (or pugs!), others of us seek a DIY path to something better.
In my own case, I have always preferred a DIY approach to almost everything in life, so I chose to write (rhyming verse) to express my feelings in a cathartic way about each and every negative aspect of the situation. This included pre and post -surgery experiences. All my rhymes are available on this site in my profile under ‘blogs’ and if they can be of any help to you, then I would be honoured if you cared to browse through a few.
In my previous work I have written quite a lot about depression in various guises, and I would be happy to share some of this writing with you. However, I am a firm believer that the more we focus on a subject/problem, the bigger that subject/problem appears to be. I, therefore, advocate that a ‘better’ strategy is to look away from the problem and distract one’s self - towards seeking a better future, rather than dwelling on what is now history.
Reactive depression is a lot like bereavement, in that there are a series of similar stages that we progress through before we become better ‘adjusted’ to the new situation. It is often useful to be aware of these stages, so that you can ascertain where you are on that journey.
There is plenty of information about this process on the internet and I would encourage you to familiarise yourself with this information.
There will not be many folks on here who have not at some time in their stoma journey been afflicted with depression, so hopefully many more will share their own experiences of the psychological and emotional traumas that chronic illness and major surgeries throw up.
My absolute best wishes
Bill

My Ostomy Journey: Bruce | Hollister

I can relate. If you were active prior to surgery, physical activity will be very important to avoid depression. You'll have to become 100% confident with your pouching system so talk to your WOCN about supplemental adhesive products to improve adhesion, then get back out there and live your life. Examples of helpful supplemental adhesives are Torbot Bonding Cement and/or Skin-Tac Liquid Adhesive Barrier. 

Hi Puglover,

Give yourself a break! You are allowed to be down about all that has happened to you! We all are! At your age, to go through such a traumatic health crisis is a big deal, but because you are young, you have a fighting chance to be as you were before, most likely stronger! We are hardest on ourselves, and your brain has to give the body a chance to heal. It will, but in the meantime, go with what you got! It is very frustrating to find the right appliance (pouch system) for us. I was miserable and felt stuck at home for the first few weeks until I got rid of the pouches the hospital recommended and ordered some samples from different companies to try and found one that works well. I have not had a leak in over a year and a half, maybe longer. Then it was just once and at home. My world changed when I felt confident enough to go out, and now, nothing prevents me from doing everything I love. It takes time, and it is a process. You are very fortunate to have a reversal in your future! This is temporary, so roll with it, and you will think more positively about it once you see it is a means to get well!

I wish you the best!!

Puppyluv

Hi Puglover,

I agree with everyone's comments and know you're not alone in the way you feel. I was the same way when I would leak; I would freak out and cry, but I'm learning to deal with it. Learning is always in progress, and you too will find your own groove and be able to do the things you enjoyed prior to this. All in time.

As one member said, welcome to the family, and like Bill said, he shares rhymes and poetry. It is lovely, and everyone here is awesome and so very informative.

Good luck with everything and keep your head up! 😊

BAYS 🦋

Hi Puglover, what you are going through is normal after having major surgery. I would suggest getting an ostomy belt for the leaks as it will hold the appliance tighter to your body, and the next step is to go outside and walk. It doesn't have to be far, just out around your yard. I know it's hard when the wound is left open; I had the bottom couple of inches left open to drain and had to constantly change the bandage at first, but over time it got better. Good luck.

I too, had an emergency surgery and ended up with a colostomy at the end of January. Turns out I have colon cancer and the ostomy should be the lesser of my concerns, but it still is a concern. I allowed myself to feel sorry for myself, and you are allowed too. It is healthy, you are not a robot. But after a period of depression, I decided to focus on dealing with the ostomy as best as I could (ordered samples, watched tons of YouTube videos, read lots of info, joined several ostomy groups, had nurses giving me tips) and now I can deal with it. I am now focused on finishing my chemo regimen, and I am already researching everything about the reversal surgery, working out trying to get strong, thinking ahead so I won't be stuck thinking of my current situation. That would be my advice to you. Since your ostomy is temporary, start planning towards that goal. Hang in there, it will get better! 

Hi Puglove, I read your post with heartfelt sympathy. I remember when... I was 12 when I first developed UC, and after nearly 4 years of medical treatment, and a lot of hospitalizations, I found out about the "ileostomy" I was about to have. My parents and doctors kept it a secret from me, and as the days, weeks, and months turned into years, I became more angry, that I was missing "the best years of my life". That was the mindset of the child I was then. It took me months to recover from the first (2) surgeries, and I still had active disease in the rectum, osteoporosis (in a brace) from medication, and an incision that wouldn't heal. MESSY!!! I didn't go back to school, until all the issues were resolved, which took another 8 months... (10th grade). By that time, my incision finally healed (although the rectum didn't) and I was out of my back brace. I'd had the chance to try different appliances (which were not as neat and clean, and easy to use as today's), and found one that fit... OK...it was black rubber *ugh) and I had to wash and reuse it. The faceplate was plastic, and was held to the pouch with a metal disc... But I actually got all that "stuff" into a bathing suit, and after 4 years was able to go swimming again. And I went back to school, and to camp, and horseback riding... Depression...not so much... I had an active life, married, had children, got divorced, got my teaching degree, and traveled the world extensively... Life was good... But "luv" not all good things last forever. I'm now 72, and not aging as well as I would like. I have kidney issues, liver issues, digestive issues (IBS - Gas and the runs) and now my diet is restricted again... I feel like it's a throwback, and I've been in a real depression...for a variety of reasons. Memories of "back then, have recurred, and I've been hospitalized for various other issues, that had never been a problem before... So the advice I offer you, is do the best you can now, to get well, to adjust to the changes, and then go out and live the best life you can. You are a beautiful young woman, and right now, can't see the forest for the trees. One day at a time, and try to identify something "good" that happens each day. We can always find the bad stuff...while the good stuff remains hidden...Here's a few, Winter is over, covid on the wane, we're still alive. The flowers are blooming... for me, 2 years ago, I could barely walk (knee pain from arthritis) and thought I'd be in a wheelchair. Instead, I'm in physical therapy, my knees are better, and I'm going to plant some of those flowers... Best wishes...Marsha