So..........my Colo samples finally came. Oh goodie! So this morning I was like a kid on Christmas morning (not)......but hoping to give the Colo sample barrier/ring/bag a try. First thing I noticed is I didn't like the bag closure system. Fold over and velcro......no clip. But ok, maybe it's time for a change. So I did my thing, got all prepped, applied the Cavilon.......made sure it was good and dry........and popped on the Colo barrier with the ring already on it. I liked the ring.....bigger than the Hollister, and white instead of tan. So on it went......all seemed good. I held it in place for the full 2 minutes like the microscopic print directions said to do........and was then going to slap on the click-bag.......but I suddenly noticed I had NO adhesion between the semi-firm outer barrier plastic material and my skin. None. If you've ever had a similar experience with something like this not working.........you know the quick wave of panic that sets in. That quickly turned to a LOT of cussing. So much so that the poor pooch just slinked out of the kitchen to go lay on the bed in piece and quiet.
Ok, we got this......on to Plan B......back to my Hollister stuff. I was working against the clock at this point because on an empty stomach I output bile every hour religiously, until I eat something. And in the middle of a barrier change that makes quite a mess. So with 45 minutes of that hour gone I had to work fast. I had planned to cut a Hollister barrier and have it ready to go just in case, but didn't want to waste a barrier and was confident the Colo stuff would work. Bad assumption on my part. Hmmm..........I say that a lot, don't I. Ok, mental note made.
So I pulled out a Holly barrier and ring, did the quick cut to fit with my template.....and then had to remove the Colo barrier. Hmmm........ok......the outer semi rigid plastic part of the barrier had no adhesion.......but the inner white ring was sticking like hell! Not having a lot of time to dick with it......I just gave it the ol' he-ho and off she came. Unfortunately, in doing so it stuck so well that it shredded my stoma. I just stood there as the blood flowed down my abdomen into the sink. What a pretty color red! And so much!! The old 'stuck pig' reference instantly came to mind. When they say the bowel is literally full of blood vessels.....they ain't shittin'! So there I was......leaning over my kitchen sink......waiting for a neighbor walking her dog to look and see me standing in the kitchen window with my nose pressed to the glass.....wondering what the hell THAT weirdo was doing. And I'm thinking.....oh, great......I'm gonna bleed out in front of my kitchen sink............I wonder if the investigators will be able to figure out how I died. Maybe I should just leave a note. Or........I could write it in blood, like those old murder mystery victims did back when TV was black and white. Ok, no.....that's just gonna be more of a mess to clean up in a few minutes when this damn bleeding stops. Luckily I clot really well. Three cheers for platelets! Woo Hoo!
Ok, so I got all the bleeding stopped........felt good to get some of that old blood out of me........although I'm not crazy about losing weight. Anyway......I did another round of Cavilon..........which I'm really not that impressed with. I know a LOT of you guys love it..........but it's just not crazy about me. And to be fair my skin is pretty f&^kjed up.......so maybe not a fair fight for the Cavilon. Although it does say it can handle it on the label. Whatever.......I reapplied and stuck my old Holly barrier and ring on.......and hung my head in shame as I popped some motility meds and sit here typing this......while I'm waiting for them to do their thing. It's tough on the ego to get beat by a piece of Chinese plastic in your own home. UGH! NO.....you cannot see the video!!
Now to be fair to all the Colo product fans out there.........this might not have been a fair fight. The skin around my stoma is a slight bulge, not perfectly flat.......so the 5 or 6 fingered barrier they make (Sensura Mio? or whatever) would have been a better choice to send me.....IMHO. But I explained all this to the Colo dude on the phone....and he said he knew what to send. I'll be chatting with that nice sample sender on the tele on Monday about it. But when I touched the removed barrier underside (where the adhesive is) I didn't feel any stickiness whatsoever. And when I was holding it in place I could see it was bulging in places from not really matching the skin contour......there's no way it could....it was too rigid and flat to match the slight bulge. And that plastic doesn't "give" any. This is where the Holly bandage type really excels....it can match any skin contour, unlike the Colo plastic. What were they thinking? No, what was I thinking??
Anyway..........round one goes to my skin and the challenger has been relegated to the round file. For now. Poor bastard didn't have a chance. NEEEEEXT!
Hey, enough about me........I hope you guys all have a great 4th of July weekend (here in the States). And to all my British friends........no hard feelings! We still love ya!
TO BE CONTINUED!