I’M NO VEGETARIAN but I do eat veggies at dinner. Most often, it’s broccoli, or zucchini, or yellow squash, or asparagus, or peas, or a salad. So a few weeks ago, when the dermatologist was cutting into my scalp to remove a cancerous growth, he said to me: “You eat vegetables, don’t you?” He could tell by the condition of my flesh, he said. “Good for you.” One rarely thinks about how important the produce section of the market is, but it is. With an ostomy, we have to be selective, experiment, take things slow until we see how our system handles it. One of my favorites is onion, although it can mess with my eyes when I’m peeling them. “An onion can make people cry,” said Will Rogers, “but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.” Maybe we just need some good potato jokes. Q: Why did the guy win the potato hiding contest? A: Because his carbo-hide-rate was so good. Q: Why do potatoes make great detectives? A: Because they always keep their eyes peeled. Vegetable jokes are corny.
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