Seeking Relocation Support for IBD Patients

I know this is a long shot but I've lived in America my whole life and cannot stand living here for another month. I sadly don't have the resources to afford to move to a country run by adults. Are there any programs or groups out there that help us with IBD find opportunities to relocate to somewhere offering cheap lodging until I can make enough money to have my own life?

Hi MW,

That's a tough one. Hmmm... I know... since you're not big on the US, you could head down to Laredo and get a job for a cartel running drugs back into the US. They pay really really well, and you could live in Mexico cheaply while enjoying your new job. Just try to bankroll as much as you can as quickly as you can... 'cause there will be a new sheriff in town in another year and a half that will slap your ass in jail and throw away the key on day 1. Other than that... try a GoFundMe page!

;O)

Clever answer w3Bob. I wrote one that wasn't very nice. Decided to delete it.

What a pillock! Watch a lot of British TV.

Hey Bob, loved your reply to the MW dude from Texas! But as an afterthought, in his defense, sometimes life throws you so many curve balls that you don't know what to do next... or how to cope. I'm grateful for my ostomy surgery, nearly 60 years ago, which "cured the UC issues. But life still was a rocky road. My ex still had Crohn's. My two kids had UC and Crohn's respectively (managed on medication, not surgery). We had some really good years, then divorced. I graduated from college, traveled lots, and then about 10 years ago, the ailments started piling on. Hep C (from transfusions), liver disease, osteoporosis, diabetes, kidney disease, 3 kidney operations, 2 sinus surgeries, ongoing arthritic issues (hands, feet, knees, back), lots of physical therapy. I see 10 doctors, one for every "system." That's my social life, but such is life. It's a rocky road. I try to remain grateful for each good day. These days, I'm coping with erratic, chronic IBS, which causes "the runs," dehydration, and ends with a trip to the hospital for IV fluids. We can't identify the foods that may cause it, and there is "no cure." So I'm back to a very basic diet of eggs, proteins, oatmeal, bread... virtually no fruit or vegetable, no onion, garlic, lemon or limes, or carbonated anything. If I want anything other than basics, "it's regarded as a test, one at a time." Day-to-day life is a challenge. A throwback to my UC days. It's difficult to make plans, so life is one day at a time. My days of "long distance" travel are gone. I don't want to have an attack in another country or where they don't speak English. I got cold feet and backed out of driving on my own to AC (an hour and a half away) to spend a few days with friends. What would happen if I got "stranded there and couldn't drive home?" It's difficult to live with the fear, but I don't want it to take over my life. I'm not that sick 12-year-old now. I'm older (74) but not much wiser. I don't have the luxury of imagining a long life ahead of me. But then no one knows what the next day or the future will hold. I try to hold on to "faith" and live each day to the fullest, but it's a challenge to stay positive. Prices keep going up, and I lost my part-time jobs (to COVID), so each day is a financial struggle. Do I sell my house and downsize now, next week, next month, next year? No easy answers. Some days, I just want/need to pull the covers over my head and not think. Thank goodness for music, TV, or a good book. Have I given up? No way. Is it easy? Not at all. I have more empathy for those who are struggling to adapt to changes in their life. Just little empathy for my own situation...

So my question to you and all my "ostomate" friends out there... How do you cope when your life becomes "smaller and smaller" because doing more is oh so difficult? Yesterday, I cancelled a pulmonary rehab session, and today I cancelled going to yet another doctor for a follow-up after last week's emergency hospitalization (4x in 2 years, 2 of which were life-threatening and acute), not to mention the countless times I've coped with dehydration at home. When I write to others (about ostomy maintenance and acceptance), I'm upbeat and positive. But living life while you face "possible death experiences" has become a major issue. I guess it's like "living with/coping with cancer" or any other life-threatening disease. It just feels like I've been here, done that (because I have)... and I don't have the same mental and emotional strength that I did as a child. Any helpful words or advice... most helpful. Thanks, Marsha...

Hi Marsha,

First....thanks for sharing. I've read every one of your posts or replies since I've been on here, and by reading between the lines have figured out you've always had a lot on your plate. And yet you take the time to advise folks on here when you can. That's pretty amazing, and I'm not trying to blow smoke up your ass. I mean it. What you just laid out is quite a bit more than I was assuming you're dealing with......or have dealt with, so I'm even more amazed.

And you're asking ME how I deal with this crap? That's like Bruce Lee asking ME how to fight! Sort of half-ass backwards....no? We should be asking YOU that, not the other way around. But here's what I'll tell you........for me I only look at the big picture and never focus on the minutiae. That's easier said than done, I know........but it's what I keep coming back to when things look bleak. Meaning I know my life isn't going to end well........no one's does..........but it IS going to end whether I like it or not. That alone is not something easy to wrap our heads around, and I don't think we ever really do.....which is why most end up going out kicking and screaming rather than smiling and happy. That will to survive we all have is a really great thing during our lives......until the inevitable end, when it becomes a hindrance. But I know there will come a point in my life where even the big picture looks bad and that will to survive won't make much sense. And when that time comes I plan to leave this world on my terms, not on the terms of our medical or judicial systems. My intent is to not burden folks with my departure, which to some extent will be impossible, but I can minimize it significantly with a little planning (and a lot of plastic sheeting hung properly to contain the mess).

So every time I've been in a situation where the thought of stopping the suffering and putting an end to things comes around.........and I've been to the edge a time or two........I ask myself if things can get better if I get through this one. So far the answer has been yes, so I kicked myself in the ass and worked through it. And I'll continue with that game plan until the answer to that question is 'no'. And then just hope I have the balls to do what I say I will. Gut-check time, I suppose. But that's how I "do it"...........although there is no right or wrong answer to your question, as you already know.

Lastly, I'll just say that part of the info I use to answer that question when it arises is are there folks worse off than me. If I find someone who's dealing with even more than I am...........and still soldiering on.........that tells me I'm a coward for pulling that trigger now. And I'm not leaving as a coward, if I can help it. So I look to others in worse shape than me, or who are dealing with more crap in their lives than I am and are still here fighting the good fight. Because that's what defines us. Those folks don't know it, but they're inspirational to the rest of us. And when I can't find that inspiration.........my little brain will rationalize it's pretty pointless to still be here.......and it'll be my time.

So Marsha.......I cope with this crap......because there's folks out there like YOU who cope with this crap and a lot more....who inspire me to do so. And for that I can only say THANK YOU!

;O)

Here, here, Bob. XX

Outstanding reply, Bob.

Bob - Clever reply. Thanks for the giggle.

Marsha - Thank you for sharing. I thought I had a lot of problems. I hope you have support at home.

I have had an involuntary run-in with the cartel in Mexico. Lucky to be alive. That was an absolutely awesome reply.