Facing Husband's Illeostomy in Ten Days, Need Advice!

My name is Tina and my husband is Chris. He is 43 and has been diagnosed with colorectal cancer stage 3b. He has had ulcerative colitis for ten years, and the option for him at this point is surgery, and of course, chemotherapy and radiation. He and I are struggling to find out what life will be after the surgery, such as sex, sleeping, health activities, etc. I know everyone's body and healing is different, but any support or help that you can give us would be appreciated. I found this website and am grateful that I did. Just reading some of the past blogs has been very scary and helpful at the same time. Please write back, thanks.

Well, Tina and Chris, you have each other, and that's important as you'll both need each other. Like you say, everybody reacts differently; how you react, how Chris reacts will determine a lot of how things go. This doesn't help you much, but if you can hang on to a little humor, it will go a long way on the road to recovery. And, we will be offering our best wishes. Luck, Ed.

Hi Tina, I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer between stage 2 and 3 at age 47. The important thing is my doctor said I was a lucky one in that I would survive. I had everything; chemo, radiation, surgery. But I survived! I am 55 years old now and have been cancer-free for years. They count "cure" as 5 years from the first surgery. And they use the word cure. Caught early, colorectal cancer is quite treatable. Everyone is different, and their experiences are different, so don't be scared off by what you might read online. I didn't join for a while because of that issue. For me personally, radiation was the worst. And also the most important part according to my treatment team (oncologist, radiologist, surgeon). I could go on but won't for now. You are not alone. Let people know, and they will be there to help.

Tina, you are the most important part of this equation. If your marriage is strong and you are strong, then the battle is half won. He will get through this. As for life after surgery, in time and with support, Chris will adapt to the ileostomy. I have had one since 2006. It's mostly a mindset. As long as my feet touch the ground each day, the rest is all in time. Try to remember, don't worry about tomorrow; today has enough worries of its own. And as far as sex goes, that also is in your hands. Don't make him feel any different than before the surgery. He will have no problem performing if you make him feel comfortable. Show him all the love you have always shown, and then some. This will go a long way. Have him get involved in a support group, and you go with him. This is a family issue. Good luck. Hope I have been some help.