New Year, New Start: Resolutions and Embracing Life with an Ostomy

Happy New Year all!

It's been about a month since my last blog, and I wanted to wish every ostomate a happy new year, and myself a happy new start!

And what better way to start than by telling you all my New Year's Resolutions (who knows how long I'll be able to keep them for!) Firstly; enjoy myself, this is the first time in about 3 years that I've felt amazing health wise and I'm not wasting it, I am going to live every day as if it was my last! Next is; organize myself, I am finally back at college and with a career path picked I want to be able to stick to it with no glitches, so I have to organize myself to get work done on time and to knuckle down and get the grades I need to do what I want! And finally; save up my money, and spend it in a worthwhile fashion. Occasionally I can treat myself, but I need to find myself a better paying job and start putting money away...not only am I planning to go on a girly holiday with my friends this year but I also need to think about Uni fees and when I finally want to move out (you can't pay rent with buttons!) I've also decided that I'm not going to chase boys and stress out about being single with a stoma. I know a lot of the time it's easier said than done, but recently I've grown a thick skin and really started not to care what other people think of me. I poop from a different place, all it means is that there's always something on my stomach so I like covering it up more than getting it out, and my butt hole is cleaner than everyone who still uses theirs. I am still the same me I always was, I still look the same (with my clothes on) and everything else works fine. So if you can't deal with it that's your problem cause I'm stuck with this for life and it doesn't bother me. Am I right?!

Now back to my 2012 so far. I've vowed to myself that I will make it the best year yet, and it seems to be off to a flying start! I have been out with my girls clubbing and to bars and really having fun and living like a "normal" 18 year old, I've been on a few dates with a guy who genuinely seems interested in me and I find myself liking him more and more, and I'm making so many new friends at college - finally! I'll admit, since being single and having my bag I've been holding back a little, always conscious and aware that my bag is there and worried about what people would think if they knew, but this guy who I'm starting to like is different. I can tell I really like him because no matter how often I see him I find myself thinking about him all the time...and when I get a text I always check my phone hoping that he's text me (and most of the time he has :D) and when we arrange to meet I get excited, and when I see him it feels like someone's opened up a jar of butterflies in my stomach! I just don't wanna get hurt again. So I've decided instead of scaring him away straight away or leading him on I'm gonna wait until I know he feels the same about me (say if he asks me out to be his girlfriend officially) then I can just tell him how I feel and how much he means to me, but the fact that he has a right to know what's going on. If he scares and runs sure I'll be hurt, but then I'll know that even though he said he liked me, he can't have liked me that much to let something so superficial change the way he feels.

I even get nervous just thinking about telling him about my bag, but then I think...hey he might not even like me how I like him and if he never pops the question then I never have to tell him, and at least I'll have gained a new friend. Truth be told I do sometimes get down about having the bag because life would be so much easier if I didn't have it, but hey that is life and we all get given our cards, we just gotta play the best game we can with what we've got and I plan to do that this year.

Show my ex what he's missing out on now, and prove to myself that I can be strong and confident and an ostomate.

Thanks guys

Hi Fran, first you are an ostomate and second you are a survivor, and everything else will come in due time. Enjoy the school experience and new friends along the way. Ron

Hi Fran, well again I love to hear what you have to say, and once again I haven't been disappointed on your views on having a bag. You have the right idea, it's no big thing, and that some folks have to poo still out there arses lol, but we have an advantage, no cold toilet seats to have to sit on while getting rid as they say. lol.. But I understand how things can get you down, i.e. having a bag, and I too sometimes think it would be easier and uncomplicated not having one, but like you say, it's here and we deal with it. I still think you're one courageous girl, who is acting normal doing what others your age do and not letting the bag get in your way. As far as the guys you meet and befriend, take each day as it comes, you will know when your true love will be the one. I had my bag when I met my hubby and it made no difference to him, we were married 17 years, but divorced now for other reasons but still are the best of friends. If you have and do meet anyone who just doesn't want to know because of your bag, they are not worthy of you, it's their loss and a big one. I want to wish you a happy new year, and I hope it brings you happiness and the love in your life. It's nice to see you blogging here and updating us.. Hope all goes well with uni. Keep us updated .. tc Fran ..ambies...

Fran... (insert applause), you've taken a major step in your life. First comes the strength to put yourself out there, with the courage to be who you really are (you are not defined by your bag, honey), and most importantly, prepared to let your life just happen as it was intended. Relationships may come and go, but if they ever end because of your appliance, they weren't worth your effort anyway!! Thus, my stoma description as the perfect jerk detector... Try to remind yourself on a regular basis that you deserve to be treated as you would treat anyone else in the same condition. Would you want them to feel less than they are? No... So when you meet that special someone, is he looking at you or a less than perfect copy? I say he's looking at a new and improved, determined and strong, compassionate yet driven, beautiful yet humble, gentle, playful, funny woman who is well-versed in the important things in life. A well-rounded, wonderful young woman!!!! It don't get no better than that, my friend... BEG

Thank you for your lovely comments! I always aim to please and to remind all the beautiful ladies out there with a bag that it doesn't matter about the bag - if you're beautiful on the inside then you're beautiful on the outside.

Absolutely sweet girl!!! BEG

Good for you, I know exactly how you feel!! I have had to have the same attitude as I got very down after my op last year, but feeling a lot better now! I dunno how I would have coped if I was still in school or even worse, single lol... You're doing great. Best of luck with everything, Franciaa :)

Thank you :)