The ostomy-sex question



Some people have a strong desire

to poke and probe and to enquire.

Their questions sometimes can perplex

especially when they ask of sex.

The questions that they ask of me

about my sex and ostomy,

can be a mite discomforting

as well as quite embarrassing.

Ostomates have got together,

To carefully consider whether

We could list things we might say

if these questions came our way.

We got together and we thought

Of things to say as a retort.

Now we have more counter-measures

in our little store of treasures.

If it’s someone you don’t like

you could tell them to “take a hike!”

Or if you think they want to pry

ask them if they want a try.

For those that ask about ‘THE-BAG’

“Does it affect the way we shag?”

We might reply “You are a pratt -

don’t talk about my wife like that!”

If the person seems to scoff

I tell them that “I’ll take it off.

Then I will be completely nude.

and we can both be seen as ‘rude’”.

“When wanting sex becomes your aim

bags and baggage are the same.

For each can carry so much shit.

and that may be the crux of it.”

B.Withers 2012


Well said, Bill. Your poem is a great description of how we respond or may respond to the nagging curiosity some people have about how our ostomies affect our sexual activities. Seeing this discussion cast in poetic form, however, I was immediately reminded of the following lines from a Yeats' poem entitled "Crazy Jane Talks with the Bishop" where Jane gives an arrogant hypocrite a real lesson in life and love: "But Love has pitched his mansion in the place of excrement; for nothing can be sole or whole that has not been rent." It's a fairly short poem but has great value to folks challenged by the body-image self-worth delusion. Check it out. PB

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Hello Primeboy,Thank you for your supportive comments and the introduction to crazy Jane.I met that crazy Jane today who sent the bishop on his way.If she'd have lived within my life I would have loved her for my wife.Best wishesBill
I got on a roll with this one so I continued with a similar vent on ostomy smell ( see blog!) I hope this isn't one verse too much. Best wishes Bill

Very cool poem, I like it very much....and Prime Boy you have me looking up Yeats now :) I'm sure this topic has affected most of us at some time in our lives and poetic verse does seem to soften the topic.....

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

I have had my reversal for some time now, so I don't experience what you describe about sex and the bag. But when I had the bag, it was not that much of a problem, as far as sex goes. Not even the odor. Hey, look at Tiki's photos and profile. Doesn't seem to bother her at all. As a matter of fact...