Year On

Taz-uk

Nov 05, 2015 1:23 pm

Well over a year has passed since my ileostomy, and just when I was getting back to normal and started back my passion... Martial arts, BOOMMMM! Back in the hospital for yet another operation😣 I have yet another huge hip-to-hip scar of life to show and am upset... Emotional and just darn cheesed off with my health and life. Feeling sorry for myself at the moment, in pain, and sporting a lovely dressing as I tried to hoover—YES, Hoover—and burst a few stitches, so back to the sofa😖 Being 'normal' is just not going to come easy to me, and I'm just counting down to when Lady Luck may shine on me😔 Sorry for the doom and gloom, but this is my only release as no one nearby can understand. They try, but I think if I was really totally honest with them, they would think I'm a bit off...

Bill

Nov 06, 2015 6:30 am

Hello Taz-uk. Thanks for the post and I hope it helped in releasing some of that negative emotion. one of the reasons for the continued existence of this site is that people on here can understand what it's like to experience the ups and downs of stoma life and the feelings that accompany having a stoma. Whereas those that have never experienced it would find it difficult to place themselves in our position.I have found that most people do not want to listen to other people's concerns in life and especially not their illnesses. Sometimes when people ask me the 'How are you?' question I'm tempted to reply with what I think is the most truthful answer 'You don't really want to know!!' However, usually I smile and say something more benign such as I'm as good as can be expected or Not bad considering--. After this initial encounter the conversation can move on to neutral ground where they might be more interested in what is being said. Fortunately. we ( on this site) 'are' interested in how people are coping (or not) with this condition whether that be in a good or bad way so you can feel really sorry for yourself on here and we will understand even if there is not much we can do for you other than empathise and reply to your posts. I hope things get a bit better for you in the future and you are able to gain some control over the insidious negative emotions that are bound to arise when things are not going well. Best wishes Bill

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Posted by: Primeboy

Hi Mike and all. I am not sure how panoramic my perspective really is as my peripheral vision shrinks with each passing year. I can tell you that when I came to this website six years ago I was truly ;impressed by the positive attitudes of so many members, especially the younger folks who refused to let their ostomies define who they were or what they would become. I also came to appreciate that having an ostomy is not the same thing as having a disease. Pardon ;my pun now, but ostomies and cancer don't belong in the same bag. One is a solution, the other is a problem. Celebrating National Ostomy Day ;is also well outside my comfort zone. That's like celebrating National Wheel Chair Day. Come on!

I think there is a ;need for improved ;public awareness of ostomies, but I am not sure how that's best done. There ;remains ;some social stigma attached to our situation, and it's acutely felt among our young. We need to get out of the dark ages on this issue, but not by going 'in your face' to everyone else. I think Bill and NDY are 'spot-on' when it comes to telegraphing the right message to friends and family. People will know how to react when they ;see ;how we accept the cards we were dealt. I also appreciate the contribution some people here are making to this effort through their publications.

On a personal note, my son has been suffering from ulcerative colitis for years just like I did. I am very concerned because people with UC are at a higher risk for colon cancer. Years ago my GI told me to get annual colonoscopies to be on the safe side. I am glad I did because he eventually found pre-cancerous cells which led to several surgeries and my becoming an ostomate. Since then I have always ;conveyed a positive attitude to ;my son about wearing a bag because it has kept me alive to enjoy many more years with my loved ones. I think he got the message. We both go to the same gastroenterologist in NYC and get scoped on the same day. Father and Son moments!

Someone once wrote that our children are the letters we write to the future.

Taz-uk

Nov 06, 2015 9:45 am

Thanks, Bill, for your kind words, and I can relate to what you are saying. I don't bother these days, and when people ask, I just reply with 'I'm okay, I guess,' as I don't think I'd stop if I was truthful. X

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veejay

Nov 06, 2015 7:51 pm

Brilliant piece of writing, Bill... and oh so true. It is not a sin to feel sorry for oneself; it is better than living a lie. Remembering, of course, that champions are the ones who get up when they can't! VJ.

veejay

Nov 06, 2015 8:24 pm

How to Stay Hydrated with an Ostomy with Collin | Hollister

Mrs.A

Nov 07, 2015 3:30 am

The only thing good about a bad day is when it's over. We all have them now and again and sometimes they get the best of us but for a moment. When the new day dawns it's a chance to look at the situation again and find a way to rise above it. Sometimes a good rant or a nice tasty plate of comfort food or even a conquering moment can help us begin again.

Bill

Nov 07, 2015 9:42 am

Hello people. Thanks for your supportive comments about my post. I find that having a good rant is very cathartic but I try not to do it at people who would not understand or might take it as a personal affront. To do that would probably just be passing on the negative emotion to someone else. Many of my rants come in the form of rhyming verses and when they have something o do with stomas I'll post them on a blog. However, there are so many more that have little to do with our condition that I just write them down and store them away as a reminder that when those thoughts come back again I can look back and recall that I managed to live through the negative emotional experiences without recourse to anything more drastic than penning a verse or two. Sometimes it becomes necessary to feel sorry for ourselves because nobody else is doing it for us! As long as these feelings do not get a morbid grip upon our lives I can't see much harm in them and if they can be the trigger and motivation for something creative then they have an extra (more positive)beneficial outcome.Best wishesBill

Year on

How to Stay Hydrated with an Ostomy with Collin | Hollister