Stoma Dating, It's Hard. What Stories Have You Got?

Well, it seems like you can't have a lady without one, so I have decided to retire after 43 years and get a reversal. I knew I could, but put it off while I had good medical coverage. I came from Ohio to Missouri in 1980. Was married for 33 years; things went south. I have a good friend down south. I think that went south, you know how you can tell. But it's been a pleasure seeing this site. Just kind of seeing what's going on in the do's and don'ts, and things take time, and that is one thing you can't get back. But getting a reversal, I haven't made my mind up yet. But it looks like unless I find someone, I will die alone, and no one wants that. But I'd like to make some friends first, see where it goes. Sometimes people are nice to you, and we take it a different way; ladies, you've got to tell us these things, okay? I wish everyone the best on here, and never give up. But I'm a hillbilly, and haven't done much but work; it's time I see the oceans and mountains. It would be nice to have someone to travel with me. Like they say, as friends. Yeah, friends are hard to find. God bless all of you; winter is coming.

The only problem I ever had was myself in the early days, pushing partners away from me. I was young, I didn't realize I was doing it at the time. Now I can see it was me hurting and upsetting them; other than that, my ostomy has never been a problem.

Never say never, don't give up on relationships. I always believe we meet someone when the time's right; they just walk into our life.

Before I found the site I happened to meet a man who had an ileostomy too.  We hit it off real well at first but circumstance is conspired to pull us apart.  We were on again off again for about 7 months but recently a development took a turn that caused him to turn away entirely from me.  

In a relationship when you're not the one that turns away first, and sometimes even when you are, it's painful.

I've met several good friends on this site and had a lot of potential dates but sometimes we just had different expectations for relationship.  Early on I had many gentlemen who showed an interest in me.  But because of the scope of this website it is awfully difficult to date from here because potential matches are located all over the country and in fact all over the world.

I believe there are other sites for potential dating of other ostomates.  But none that seem large enough to be able to give you a selection geographically near to you.

Dating???  I have been single by choice for over 20 years.  Now that I just turned 65 I am having the same thoughts about dying alone - not pleasant.  I still haven't recovered completely emotionally since my surgery almost 2 years ago.  I have a single male friend that is an awesome person and has shown much interest in me.  I have known this fellow for about 45 years.  He says that me having a stoma is not an issue for him, but what will he say when I wake up at 2 am covered in poo from my knees to my boobs???  Or when the poo volcano erupts and covers the bathroom cupboards and floors when changing?  Everytime I think about this, I seem to shrink into myself.  Anyone else experience this?  How do you deal with it?

Has that stuff really happened to you, covered in poop or all over the cupboards and floor? I understand an occasional leak, but if those are regular things for anyone, something has to be changed in your setup. Living life by "what iffing" yourself into not doing things is the completely wrong mindset to have. We've all been sick, some worse than others, but now most of us are in a much better state of health. Go enjoy that because any of us went through a bunch of misery to get better. Why waste it? Have a good day.

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