Coping Strategies for Life Changes After a Bowel Rupture

Wondering if anyone had any tips on how to deal with all this. I'm normally a happy, bubbly person. But since my bowel rupture and having to wear this bag, I'm depressed and sad.

I'm guessing the bag was part of saving your life; what's more bubbly than that? If you're sitting around, not doing anything, that's the worst thing for your mind. Get busy living and stop dwelling on the bumps in the road.

Ek, the first step is acceptance. I was devastated when I learned I would have to have a colostomy. I cried the night before my surgery. I had a colon re-sectioning in which I had been promised I would not need a colostomy. Unfortunately, I developed fistulas, pulmonary embolisms in both lungs, blood clots in both legs and one arm. I was determined to fight through all of this in order not to get a colostomy. The final straw was when I started hemorrhaging internally — the surgeon came to visit me and told me my body was not healing and that I needed an operation to clean up the fistulas, abscesses, and infection in order to stop the hemorrhaging. Since I had so much infection, the colon could not be reattached in that environment. I was given a reversible colostomy. The ostomy specialist told me if I wanted to have a chance at reversal then I had to learn to take care of my ostomy in order to keep it healthy. Due to all the complications I had, I spent three months in the hospital and another month in rehab. During this time I asked many questions and observed many ways of managing my colostomy — every nurse had a different way of doing things and so did the ostomy specialist. By the time I was released to go home, I knew how to manage my colostomy.

The thing that will help you to become more accepting of your ostomy is to dive in and learn everything you can about your ostomy. Try many different wafers/barriers/flanges and pouches. Try one-piece appliances and two-piece appliances. Try closed-end and open-end pouches. Understand what type of stoma you have, is it a colostomy, urostomy, or ileostomy? If you have a colostomy, is it on the ascending, transverse, descending, or sigmoid colon? How far above the surface of your skin does your stoma protrude? If it is close to the surface of your skin, try convex wafers/barriers/flanges instead of flat. If you are experiencing leakage, try different barrier rings. If odor is a problem, then try different deodorants for your pouch/bag. Learn what foods may cause gas, odor, diarrhea, or constipation. Learn what foods can thicken your output if it is watery — watery output is harder to keep from leaking. Get an ostomy belt to hold your appliance close to your skin. Find out how much colon or small intestine you have lost. Appreciate the importance of cleaning your skin after changing your wafer and making sure the skin is dry before applying the new wafer.

After talking with my surgeon and learning, in my circumstance, my reversal surgery could lead to the same or worse complications than with the colostomy surgery; since I have no problem managing my colostomy, my wife and I have decided that reversal is not in the cards. I have no regrets moving forward. Get busy learning about an important member of your anatomy and the depression will dissipate. If confused, ask questions.

You have already taken the first step by posting how you're feeling on here.

Talking about how you're feeling is the best therapy, whether by posting more on here or talking to family and friends, or counseling if you feel you need it.

You and your body have been through hell; it takes time to get through it and come out the other side to your happy self again.

Try getting out more if you're not already, and exercise, even if it's just walking; it's good for your mind and body.

It's a lot to get used to and is intimidating in the beginning. But you're alive, and that bag doesn't define you! Get brave, get out, and get back to your normal routine, or as much as you're able to. Start with small victories and work your way from there. When I was first post-op (10 months ago), I couldn't even walk to the end of my driveway, and I hated to even look at the stoma. Yesterday, I replaced a portion of my privacy fence—by myself! I will admit, I did go on Cymbalta for depression and anxiety, but I started that with the cancer and before the stoma.

Stories of Living Life to the Fullest from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

You've got this. Don't let having a pouch ever define who you are. Everyone is here for you.

Hello,

Your bio indicates your circumstance is temporary; many folks don't have the option of a reversal and they live a great life. In time, you will adjust and appreciate what you have instead of the outcome of a bowel rupture. I do everything I used to do, just with some extra things to consider. I can't say I would recommend a stoma, but I appreciate what I have; the alternative is a bit grim.

Like others have posted: There is no reason to be sad or depressed about having a bag. The bag saved your life. The bag saved all of our lives.

When I was extremely sick with sepsis, peritonitis, and C. diff in the hospital, I would look out my 6th-floor window at cars going by below, people walking, riding bikes. I thought, "Will I ever get my life back?" At that time, I really didn't know what was going to happen. I had lost 66 pounds in 2 months, was malnourished, frail, and suffered constant intense pain. My blood pressure was 90/60. Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Antibiotics failed. The only thing left was emergency exploratory surgery. I told the surgeon I would live with whatever he had to do. Said goodbye to my wife and was wheeled off to surgery at 7:00 that night. Seven hours later, the surgeons finished, gifting me with a shiny, new colostomy. And a couple of months later... I was back out there; I got my life back. I'm not embarrassed, shy, or regretful. My stoma gurgles, wiggles, and burps. It's very noticeable on me because I'm a little guy. My wife doesn't mind it. She's happy I'm still here.

This website, and all the ostomy warriors from around the world, tremendously helped me to accept my new life.

Every day is a holiday. 😀

What? I don't read people's profiles anymore, so I didn't see that the person was dealing with a temporary one. If the person is going back to being one of those people, a regular pooper 🤭 (that's a joke, Audrey, smile), having a temporary one is like having the flu; they'll get over it and go on. Here I thought we had a real dilemma on our hands. 🤷‍♂️

Interesting handle.

Eastep.

Each step. ? ☺️.

Each day... step by step... is how you handle it. And you know what you can count on?

Which day becomes your last bag-wearing day. When you get hooked back up after healing.

I'm not sure at this point if you are set up as a temporary or permanent. Assuming the former, you got this. It will be over before you know it.