Hi I'm kev, I'm a single father of one, I'm 48 and down to earth and easy going, I'm looking to date but finding it hard due to me having a stoma.
kevingibney1976
Dec 31, 2024 10:59 am
warrior
Dec 31, 2024 12:07 pm
Welcome Kevin.
May I suggest you copy this intro into your profile? It will help you later on. Just a suggestion.
Kudos, you found the right forum to post it right out of the gate, being new.
In this forum you posted, you will find many like you, male and female.
You are young and having a child will say a lot about your character.
Don't let the stoma be part of that great character, dude.
You will hear from members "don't let it define you" or stop you.
You have options to date a bagger or non-bagger. Options to tell them about it or not.
It doesn't matter you have one.
It should not be about you and worries. You may find a partner who understands or not; you may also find a partner that has issues worse than you.
To lighten this a bit, I dated a woman who had a loss of smell from birth.
Whoa? Right? Especially due to our bathroom needs, right?
Well, ha ha, since she could not regulate perfume as normal women do, she, um... er... didn't use it.
You think your bag smells?
You haven't smelled anything until you smell... body odor on a beautiful woman. 🤦♂️
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Justbreathe
MeetAnOstoMate website turned out to be a lifesaver for me. I say this because, for me, this ostomy journey was a devastating event both physically and mentally.
Here, I found folks who understood my feelings even better than my family or friends could. Only a fellow ostomate can understand how you really feel.
Information sharing is key, as well as support and understanding, to ultimately bring more harmony into our ostomy life journey. I found here, virtually no ostomy questions that are not touched upon. Questions which some might feel, may be too trivial to contact a doctor about or even too shy or embarrassed to ask their own doctor about. They are all addressed here.
For me, anonymity was very helpful in seeking answers to each phase of this life changing medical and mental event. Sharing initial trauma feelings, ongoing support and finally acceptance was what I found with my membership here. I am not sure what my mental and physical attitude would be today without having found this site.
Additional benefits included: finding products and ideas to help with daily maintenance, innovative ideas and as a bonus - some great humor.
After all “laughter IS the best medicine”.
I have been a member for 3 years, an ostomate for 4 years - yes, I certainly wish I would have found it immediately after surgery but so very thankful I finally found it when I did as I truly believe it turned my troubled depression and situation into a more positive attitude and acceptance.
Sincerely,
An Ileostomate nicknamed Justbreathe 🫶🏼
xnine
Dec 31, 2024 12:26 pm
Try the member search for someone in your area. Send them a message and see what happens.
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Ben38
Dec 31, 2024 3:28 pm
You just haven't met the right person yet. Enjoy your life, get out there, have fun, keep asking when you come across anyone you like. The right one will say yes; a stoma won't be an issue for them.
aTraveler
Jan 05, 2025 8:33 am
Just remember, every "No" gets you closer and closer to that "Yes" you are looking for. No one wants to date a wimp, show self assurance and confidence, it goes a long way. Ask Charlie the tuna. 😊
By all means have a sense of humor. 😉
My Ostomy Journey: Keyla | Hollister
Past Member
Jan 05, 2025 2:38 pm
Don't make a big deal of it. There will always be people who understand. After a while you can inform the other person of your medical problem. Have your dates and friendships. Their need to know only becomes a problem, or not, if you make it one.
BlazeHuber
Feb 09, 2025 11:13 pm
My partner was aware from the beginning about my stoma. She was very supportive. She says she does not even notice it and doesn't think about it. I think you have to be open about it from the beginning. You are very, very fortunate if you have desire, want intimacy, and you are super golden, mate, if you can perform. Look for the right partner and celebrate every moment she is in front of you. Pay attention to what is in front of you.