Mental health

Sorry for another post. I’m really struggling with my mental health. I’ve got a lot of anxiety about my stoma. Finding it all very hard to deal with. I wish I could cope with it all a bit better but I’m finding it hard.

I am early in the process of adjusting to the new landscape of living with an ostomy bag. Physically I am doing okay but emotionally it has some challenges. I found a local ostomy support group and attended their monthly meeting and found people who have been through this. Seems like a welcoming group that are sharing their experiences. Plan to go tomorrow for the next monthly meeting. I am finding that talking about my situation in detail with close friends helps. Still trying to navigate public gatherings and workplace situations without being embarrassed. I am trying to convince myself that I really shouldn’t care about what others might think. Wishing you strength to push forward and live a happy and healthy life

I think we all do, especially in the early stages, Winnie. Unfortunately, I feel it's hardest when we are younger.

Try to look at the bright side of your situation. I struggled with finding meaningful benefits to having an ostomy. Not having to run for the restroom is one!

The more changes and experiences you have, the better things become. You'll become an expert at managing and adjusting your ostomy and be here for the next one who struggles!

Hang in there, you got this! 💪

I am almost 3 wks into this journey. I hate the phrase new normal because I’m not keen on word normal but how else do you say it? I’m trying to learn my new world? I have bipolar type II which basically means I have serious depression issues. Besides my happy pills (if you’re happy and you know it shake your meds😏) I am very conscious of my environment. Self isolating is my biggest issue. So…don’t do that. I know easier said than done. I almost had nervous breakdown over first blow out. My first inclination was I’m never leaving the house again. But the next night I went to cousins for dinner because I knew not going would lead to more “not going.” I imagine we will have ups and downs but we gotta focus on the ups. Do you have family you can lean on? That has been my saving grace as well as some very good friends. I have to believe I will be more comfortable w it all as time goes on. You must believe as well. Everyone on this site gives me hope it will happen as they have overcome doubts etc…. We can encourage each other. We can do this. We have to do this. I’m not letting a new asshole dictate my life or take my happiness that I have worked hard for. 😏 We can do this Winnie!!! Keep posting. Keep reading posts. You got this!!

Hi Winnie25,

I had replied when you first joined us but I wasn't sure if you ever got to see it.

I know it's rough right now but things will get better every day. At some point in the future, you might even feel very well and back to "normal."

Getting an ostomy was not on my list. I had planned to debulk the tumor I had via functional medicine. That didn't work. When things started getting very bad, my plan B colorectal surgeon said, "nobody want's a colostomy" but right now it's retractable. I felt that getting a bag was like dying. In retrospect, it was the only thing that allowed me to heal and still be here to write you. It was also the only thing that allowed me to stay with my partner, family and friends. They were all praying for me. When I think back, I don't know why I was having so much drama. Nowadays, I think that having my stoma and bag are Great! I learned what I need to do to keep things flowing smoothly and clean. You will, too.

What thoughts are you having that are getting you down? In addition to everyone here, there are also some wonderful people with very helpful presentations online. I've learned a lot from Maggie at LetsTalkIBD.com. Because of her ostomy, she wasn't sure if she was ever going to have a romantic someone in her life. I'm happy to say that she is now married to a good (no ostomy) guy and has a (6 month old?). :)

Try to think happy thoughts.

Avoiding Ostomy Bag Leaking | Managing Ostomy Leaks with LeeAnne Hayden

Winnie,

Make a list on here of all the points that are getting you down, Is it Leaks, Blowouts or not able to change the bag correctly.

Is your skin flat & smooth with no creases where your bag fits, are you over weight.

Are you a person that always sees problems on what ever you do.

Are you trying other products to see which is best for you.

These are all things you can try. Get samples sent free to you by all the different companies

IGGIE

Good you have found a local group where you can interact on a 1to1 face to face ......

Steps toward building confidence and an ease with other folk ....

In the main people are not as concerned as one may think - and a personal transistion TAKES TIME

....

We have all been there ................

Be kind to yourself

and life will become easier.

BW

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Jayne ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Aw I’m glad you have been able to find a support group that is helping you. Hope you’re okay. Thanks for your comment.

Hi. Yea it’s a lot to deal with. That’s true yea. I’m glad I’m not sick now but I’m finding hard to deal with. Thanks for your message

Hi. How are you doing? I hope your recovery is going well. Yea I hated the term new normal also. It’s a lot to deal with. I hope you’re doing okay. Yea my family try their best but they don’t always understand. Yea we will get there. Thanks for your comment

Winnie

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life .............

More of the same thoughts will bring more of the same outcomes ..............

Try to set out on a big piece of paper the Cons/Probs - and for each one - on the other column write down ONE SIMPLE STEP TO TAKE TO HELP CHANGE THIS

....

Bit by bit

....... Change and transistion takes time and WORK .....

I do not be mean to be hard - for we all have been in a place from which we have learned to navigate forward ............

One step at a time

Make sure you write down MAOM Site on your pro column - for you have found the site - visit regularly and up date us - one small step at a time ......

AND IN SO DOING YOU WILL NOT ONLY HELP YOURSELF but others too.

You are not alone in your struggle ........

Change promotes change - for NOTHING stands still - YOU least of All!!!

Don't be deterred by the mountain - all we ask is to take the first step ..... and then another ...... and another ..... ..................................

Best Wishes

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Jayne ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hi. I’m glad I’m not feeling unwell now. I’m just finding it a lot to deal with. I’m struggling to change it sometimes. I always feel anxious about it. Hopefully someday I will cope with it better. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better with your stoma now. Thanks for your message

Hi. I’m struggling with changing the bag sometimes and I always feel anxious about my stoma.

Yes I’m probably a little bit over weight. My bag does be smooth around the edges.

No I’m not the type of person to always see problems. I’m just finding this hard to deal with.

Thanks for your message

You'll get by with alota help from yur new friends here. 🎶

You have to. There's a song about it!!! . Life dictates music.. 👍

Hi. Thank you for your advice. That’s a good plan. I’m glad I’ve found this site. I’ll try my best. Thanks for your message.

Thank you so much I really appreciate it. I hope your doing okay

Good on You ..............

All power to your elbo .....

Keep going!

J

I am doing better, that, I made u happy, perhaps smile, and next time u hear the Beatles, smile or snickers. Bc.. I did that.. imagine what the others here can do for you. 🎶imagine all the people.....🎶

I will. Music is great. Than you so much

We're all here to help you.

I know exactly how you feel. Having a stoma is high maintenance. That's what I jokingly said to my surgeon during my follow-up visit last year. The learning curve can be daunting. Mishaps are stressful and depressing. Then there are the supplies and accessories and having to create a whole new budget for them.

But... Things will fall into place. I watched as many of Maggie's videos as I could in my first 8 months so that I could learn something new every day. I still watch them even though the focus has shifted to their daily lives as a family.

Appliance changes will become much easier once you develop your technique and find out what works for you. I tend to experiment with this and that but oftentimes what's simplest is best. Nowadays, I only use barrier film liquid (to protect my skin from being in direct contact with the adhesive on the wafer. Some of us experience an allergic reaction to it) and I rinse with a drop of soap in a large cup of water along with a splash of germ killing mouthwash.

Stay in touch and let us know how you're doing.

Music can be a great comfort. Hope it heals or calms yur day. And a little dance, of course, doesn't hurt.

Hoping that you have a good day today.

Never give up, we're all here to help.

Are there any local stoma groups you can join? I've been to a couple and found it to be really helpful, plus the people here are great..

Keep the good music playing, it always helps.

Be safe and well

Tony☺️