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I have colostomy

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Tue Mar 06, 2012 12:44 am
I am interested in dating. But when is it the right time to tell somebody that u have colonstmy. I just want to know what some people thoughts are or give me some advice.

Tue Mar 06, 2012 2:52 pm
4boyz wrote:
But when is it the right time to tell somebody that u have colonstmy.

since you have no replies. i think right after sex and just before the chloroform wears off completly is a good time ......

ok, now that i have your attn...i usally wait till about the 3rd need informing the whole world about it and you should know by then if you are interested in going further.
you might mention that you have a "secret" or something to that effect on the ending of the second date...that will give any woman time to think about any and every possible "thing" you might have to tell them. this will sometimes cause them to accept a physical flaw with relife when they find out you havent been to prision or arent a serial killer..ect
please keep in mind the above is just my opinion.... good luck
Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:26 pm
I have the same problems regarding dating. I've signed up on a dating website where i can be as up front as possible, and you'd be supprised how many women are understanding about Ileostomy's. I've found it takes alot of pressure off me.
Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:37 am
There is no easy answer about the timing, but one thing which may determine how it goes is you own feelings about your colostomy.  The chances are that your date will not have come across this before. When you tell her, she will probably not know how to react, so will be subconsciously looking to you for clues. If having the colostomy bothers you, then she will pick up on it being a problem and it will probably bother her. If you feel comfortable with it, and she can see that it is not a problem for you, then the odds are that if she is in the least bit interested in you it won't be a problem for her.

Perhaps before you go on a date, try telling a few friends or workmates who don't know, then you feel comfortable disclosing it.  Good luck!
Sun Mar 18, 2012 5:59 pm
Just make 100%sure that you know this person will become a part of my life,or you an ostomo-man...ive only told a few,.But i am almost at the point i rt really
dont care who knows,its the new Penny...
Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:34 pm
I have had my ileostomy for almost 26 yrs. It was my 17th birthday present, and I could not have been happier to get it. I got my life back!
My experince in the  dating realm , with an ostomy has taught me a thing or two. There is no magical date number to inform someone. I typically go about the fourth..only because, by the third date, I have a decent idea if I want to invest more of my time in the person. That seems to be my pattern.
I have also realized that it really doesn't matter when you tell someone, most people either are, or are not, the type of person that can accept an ostomy. No amount of time getting to know someone better seems to change that much. That's not what I beleived in teh beginning. I do not say that with bitterness at all...I have had both good and not so good experiences.
My truth is this, I have an ostomy, I am grateful for it, and if a person sees that as a deal breaker, then they aren;t really the person for me anyway.

I don't really care who knows or not...
Be happy with what you have in this moment, don't wait for what if's or when' your life, and be happy, and you will attract other that do the same.

Good Luck!

Sondra, 42, Hamilton
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