Looking for fellow lesbians!

Replies
38
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30814
DJK1983
Apr 23, 2012 11:31 pm
Just seeing if there is anyone like me out there!!
61smiles
Apr 24, 2012 12:22 am

Me, me! I have my hand up. You're the first one other than me that I've known of. Glad to meet you. I hadn't been in a relationship since 1991 but I still had hopes until I got deadly (literally) ill and ended up with a permanent ileostomy. Let's wish each other luck. Or maybe you're lucky enough to already be in a relationship.

Gray Logo for MeetAnOstoMate

Why Join MeetAnOstoMate?

First off, this is a pretty cool site with 33,973 members. Get inside and you will see.

It's not all about ostomy. Everything is being discussed.

Many come here for advice or to give advice 🗣, others have found good friends 🤗, and there are also those who have found love 💓. Most of all, people are honest and truly care.

Privacy is very important - the website has many features that are only visible to members.

Create an account and you will be amazed.

Grateful1952
Apr 25, 2012 2:18 am

I, too, am a lesbian...

I had a colostomy on 9/21/11, so I am still adapting. I don't think I'll ever be happy about it, but I have learned to deal with it.

I have not been in a relationship since 2002. Not looking for one, but certainly wouldn't mind being friends. There should be more for us women. Maybe we can start something.

I admire your courage, 61smiles, and compassion for caring for your 90-year-old mother. No easy task. As an only child, I took care of both of my parents until the end, so my heart goes out to you, but there are many rewards and you'll never regret it.

God bless....

DJK1983
Apr 25, 2012 12:03 pm

Yeah!! So we do exist! I had a temporary ileostomy about eleven years ago and have had my permanent one for a year and a half. I don't love it by any means, but I deal. I wish you both the best of luck. Thank you for writing!!

Grateful1952
Apr 25, 2012 6:41 pm

Indeed we do exist in every facet of life. You are still young and have a lot more living to do and have a good attitude. It will take time but I think you will find the right one...one who cares and has patience and can look at the "whole" woman you are. Don't settle for anything less....

Best wishes to you love. Wishing you the very best.

Thanks for writing back!!

 
How to Manage Ostomy Leaks with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Zizi
May 01, 2012 6:26 pm

Chiming in to say that, yes, there are queer girls here, too. We're everywhere!

61Smiles, I've had a urostomy since I was 9 y/o, way back in 1978. I honestly have never found it to impede my ability to have a relationship. The bigger problem for me has always been my own self-consciousness, which gets in the way of emotional connectedness. It's a lifelong project to let it go, but every stride I make is worth it.

DJK1983
May 07, 2012 1:46 pm

Hey Zizi! Glad to hear we are out there! I haven't had any problems dating since I acquired the bag either. It is only a big deal if you make it, I suppose. I just didn't know any lesbians with bags, so I wanted to see if there were any. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. We should have a scholarship fund or something. Haha!

andsoitis
May 22, 2012 7:29 pm

Hey, so glad someone asked the question! Yes, I am a lesbian, not in a relationship though. I have been wearing my colostomy now for 3 years. I am not even dating, I have been in hiding all my life almost after colon cancer. I decided to be who I am. I've never been happier. I wish you all luck in your relationships or if you're looking! I would like to have an intimate friend.

Lolamax
Jun 03, 2012 10:13 pm
Hi DJK1983,

I'm assuming you were born in 1983. Wow! I had surgery and became a permanent ileostomate in 1982! Good grief! I am a happily married lesbian! However, I only had the courage to come out when I was 32! (So, you, at age 29 - are way ahead of the game in the bravery department as far as I am concerned! Good for you!)

I have been with my love since 2000! We are very happy and my ileostomy has never been a problem in our relationship! She loves me for me!

*I'm fairly new to this site, but I'm sure there are lots of lesbians out there in ostomyworld!

Nice to meet you!
robbin
Jun 12, 2012 2:41 am

Yes, there are lesbians with ostomies! So where did you all go? Let's chat sometime.

Zizi
Jun 26, 2012 5:59 am

Would love to chat sometime with you guys, and any other queer gals on the forums. I actually find this forum difficult to navigate and not very user-friendly - especially if you are not checking it daily. (And I would check it daily if it were more user-friendly....)

And we are not allowed to post contact information that would allow us to connect on other social networks that are more user-friendly.

Don't get me wrong - I think this is an amazing service, and I am so glad that it's here. I just wish a few things were easier and more convenient to use.

DJK1983
Jun 26, 2012 2:31 pm

Hi, everybody!

I am glad to hear that we're all mostly doing well. I really haven't had any problems with my bag and dating. I just don't make it a big deal, and so nobody else does either. The woman I'm with, who I hope to marry in a few years, doesn't mind at all. In fact, she thinks it's funny a lot of times. I know that my bag is always there, but it just has so little to do with me, that I don't even worry about it. I figure, I never got a girl with my sexy stomach (or lack thereof) before, so a bag really won't matter all that much. I think to some extent, we are lucky to date women, as they're typically more understanding of things like this. It also makes us more empathetic to other people's ailments. Anyhow, it's all good, and that's my point. At least we're all still kicking. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I hate it, and I get irritated by different things about it, but for the most part, I'm glad to have my bag. That's all for today I suppose!

waytogo
Jul 16, 2012 12:10 pm

Hi all you lesbians Zizi, DJK1983, Robbin, and you all.
I am from Down Under and I am new on here. So when I found this topic, I thought I went from hell to heaven. It makes me feel yeahhh, not the only lesbian with a bag. I was with my love when this happened, and she and I just never happened after it. So I am not very confident in meeting anyone else, not right now. But I would like it if we could all have a chat thing going on to swap stories and just chat. Anyway, ladies, good to know you all. Now I won't be a stranger as it has taken me a long time to even get up the courage to get on here. Hope to chat soon. Way to go! Lots of love to you all.

waytogo
Jul 16, 2012 12:18 pm

Hi and so it is.
Way to go here; wow, what a duet! Lol. Hope to have some chats with you. I am going to be a regular visitor from now on, and it is nice meeting you and the other lesbians. Wow! I will go to bed soon with a smile on my dial, and that has been missing for a long time now. So, thank you all so much. Hope to chat soon.
Way to go.

txess
Jul 31, 2012 6:43 pm

*Raising my hand* Count me in. Woot!

waytogo
Aug 01, 2012 12:23 pm

Hi Txess
Finally a comment, thank you very much. I think the rest of these girls may have given up the chase, so to speak. Ok, so we just talk now? So how are you? I too was very surprised at the amount of girls who were in that chat. Yes, I was a very happy lesbian when I saw that I was not the only one in the world lol. Some of them were living very well with their better halves and say that the bag was of no concern. I was separated after my emergency op. I was in that relationship for 18 years. She said she hated it, well that went down a treat and I have been so scared to even think of another relationship after that. How about you? Are you with someone and if so, how do you both cope with it? I hope you chat back
;wytogo

txess
Sep 29, 2012 9:09 pm

Very sorry @waytogo about your negative and very hurtful experience with your ex! Bah. That is not the kind of person you want to be with. Don't be scared to venture forth into the dating world. I've had relationships since my surgery and they were extremely supportive and positive experiences!! In my experience, women have been wonderful and actually made me feel great about myself and my desirability as a partner!! Go for it!!

txess
Dec 02, 2012 12:06 am

Are any of you on Facebook? If so, does anyone with an account want to start a Facebook Group for Lesbian Ostomates? Call it just that (Lesbian Ostomates or Lesbians with Ostomies), so that it comes up in a search on Facebook or Google.

I think it would be great to have a closed Facebook group for us! With a "closed" Facebook group, it comes up in searches, members are public, but all the content (posts, updates, all communication between members) is private.

You can have a "secret" Facebook group, but it doesn't come up in searches, so "closed" is a better privacy option...that way all the lesbian ostomates googling or searching Facebook for others can find it.

If anyone starts one, let us know so we can search for it.

waytogo
Dec 02, 2012 3:40 am

Hi Texas
What a great idea, you are a genius. I do have a Facebook account and I will try my hand at getting one up and running. If or when I do, I will let you know, okay? I am in two closed groups on Facebook regarding FarmVille, so I can inquire about how to do it. Hope to get back to you soon. Way to go!

txess
Dec 09, 2012 4:50 pm

Way to go....way to go! Let us know when you have it up and running!!

waytogo
Dec 26, 2012 1:37 am

Hi Texas,
I have tried to get one going but I can't do it. I have asked friends and all seems to fail. I am supposed to have a certain amount of people to become members. How damn stupid is that as this is why we want to do it? Sorry, but I will work on another idea. I will let you know when and if. In a couple of weeks, I will be getting a total knee replacement, so I have put this at the back for the moment. Hope that's okay with you? I hope you all had a great Christmas and stay safe. Talk again soon.

Way to go!

txess
Jan 13, 2013 6:23 am

Do any of you on this thread have an upgraded account so you can email me? If so, please do, so we can talk about how we can all connect as lesbian ostomates!

txess
Jan 22, 2013 10:05 pm
Hey there...where did y'all go? Any of you on any other ostomy boards? Like UOAA or C3Life?
DJK1983
Jan 26, 2013 5:31 pm

I didn't see these replies!! I am not on any sites other than Facebook. I recently met someone that I think will be the one. She doesn't mind my bag at all, it's a non-issue. I am excited to see what happens. I hope you're all doing well!

waytogo
Feb 11, 2013 3:08 am

Hi DJK1983
;I too am on Facebook. I sure hope that this lady is the one for you. I am going okay, I am back on my feet after my knee replacement and now hoping I can get around a bit better in another few weeks. Have a great day
way to go

waytogo
Feb 11, 2013 3:26 am

Hi txess
I am up and running thanks to my knee replacement. A lot of people on Facebook got me through a rough patch, but all is well. That heading you once gave me before I went to the hospital. I hope you had a great holiday. We will have to try to get onto live chat to chat pmsl if you could let me know what time by replying to this. I got over the glitch that I told you about before. Ok, have to go. Oh, by the way, how do I get an upgraded account as I would like to email you. Ok, now I am going lol
All the best, waytogo 3

waytogo
Feb 11, 2013 3:44 am

Hi Texas again.
I forgot to mention a new title for all of us. How about "Gay Colostomy Support Group" or "Gay Ostomates Support Group"? I have been working on it while I was in the hospital on Facebook. Okay, I am going as someone is calling. LOL.
Hope to hear back. Way to go!

txess
Feb 17, 2013 4:39 am

@DJK1983
Wishing lots of happiness in your new relationship. I've never had a girlfriend that had an issue with the bag...they were all wonderful about it. 3

@waytogo Sorry to hear about your knee replacement and the rough patch you went through...but very happy you've turned the corner and are on the mend! Answer to your question...you should see "Upgrade" in the top menu bar when you log in, that's where you can upgrade your account.

Nice hearing from you... hope we can connect again soon.

djcwiley
Feb 18, 2013 2:38 am

Just wanted to say I love all the support and kindness that is displayed on this forum. I love the Dead too. Not lesbian but acknowledging your courage will allow you to soar!

Debra

moonshine
Mar 24, 2013 12:18 am

Does bi-curious count?