Hey all, long time no see... Just been out of it for a long time after my last surgery, but here I am and doing better. Well, here goes... I don't know how to cope with how my body looks and how I feel about myself anymore. I look at myself in the mirror and I cry from all the scars I have and feel as if no one will love me since society nowadays wants a picture-perfect woman, which I know doesn't exist. But I've always been pretty confident about myself until lately. I don't know who to go to or where... I've had a lot of positive vibes off this site, and when one posts here, everyone helps as much as they can, which I appreciate a lot. Well, as for me, yes, I had my first surgery done in my hometown for the removal of a cyst behind my ovary... But my smart-ass doctor didn't remove it and left it in there while he did a number on me. Yeah, one more scar added there... besides all the poking and tests I went through... So we found out through a nurse that the doctor left it inside of me, and I had to be sent to another hospital out of town as an emergency. Yeah, horrible ambulatory drive all the way there. As with any other hospital, you have to go through the whole process, and I waited for so long for my pain medication, which I cried my heart out all night since they didn't have the doctor prescribe it yet; of course, it was nighttime already... So yeah, now more tests, more poking, more of everything, and waiting for a doctor to take me to get surgery done... One brave doctor did... I had my first surgery done, but since the hometown doctor made a mess, I lost my ability to have children ever again... 😢... So then I had a colostomy for one year and then had a reversal... Didn't go well during surgery, so I needed the ileostomy, which didn't go well with that either... But at least I got it removed after a month... It was a battle for me since each surgery. It was very hard on my family, myself, and the doctor... I am blessed to be here since I wasn't supposed to make it. But after all this, now I feel useless and still sick after all this... I have a hard time walking, and my back kills me... I can't get any type of medical service at the moment since I'm not working, but I can't pay for one since, again, I have no money yet. I don't know what to do. I do want to work again, but I get so tired very quickly. I just feel lost and depressed all the time.
Hi Babydoll, I'm so sorry to read another horror story about medical incompetence and what people in this country go through when they don't have the necessary medical insurance. Something has to be done about that! Please don't give up on what it takes to get the medical financial aid you need to alleviate the pain you still have.
Don't worry about the scars. You're a beautiful young woman, and any man worth his salt is not going to mind the scars. Please believe that. There are good men out there, and you will find them.
Linda
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Ty and I hope he is out there... If you find one, throw him my way... 😊
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, a statement most of us believe. So where is our beauty? I believe it is more important to be a person of beauty rather than a beautiful person. It is who we are rather than what we look like. Sure, outer beauty can be nice, but it's the inner beauty that really counts. Remember, don't judge a book by its cover? Another important statement that most of us know.
Confidence in who you are comes from within. Keep looking inward because you have it in you.
Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister
It's a shame what the medical profession gets away with. Hang in there; good things always happen to good people.
X_
Ty all... Sorry just venting a little since I've been pretty depressed. Thanks to you all. ❤
Venting can be a healthy exercise in the right place - and this is the right place.
Best wishes
Bill
Hi, I am new to this website. I have had a stoma for over 5 years. I know at first it's so hard to get over it. Before I had that, I had Crohn's disease, and I was told if I don't get an operation done, I will die in a few months. I laughed at the doctors and said they were having me on. After my operation, I came a bit better but still had the wounds on my belly, and when I looked at the mirror, I cried every day. But then I got used to it. I was under depression tablets. If you accept how you look, it gets a lot better as you are not concerned about how people think. All of my friends and family support me, and everyone who I talk to knows about my condition.
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Hello there, yes it is very hard. My scars I see that I didn't see before, and they remind me of what I went through, just like you and everyone else on here. I guess I'm going through a tough moment right now. I feel as if my world is going down on me right now. I am in a deep depression. I don't know what to do.
Before my operation, I was ready to get married. My operation was in January, and I got married in April. It was hard as all the arrangements for the wedding were made, and I could not cancel as all cards and arrangements for the wedding were done. The girl who married me did not have much of a clue about what I was going through. My first night with her was so hard; I cannot forget it as I felt ashamed taking my top off. Over time, she got used to it, and she has helped me through hell and back, but I know it's hard for her as she's always supported me. Now I have been married for over six years and have two beautiful kids. I was told by doctors I would never have kids, but guess what? I have one boy and a girl. My wife and I get along with each other from time to time. When my bag burst, she would help me clean myself and the bed sheets. Now we both sleep in different beds as I don't feel the same thing for her. My love lacks there; I know she has done a lot for me.
Wow, maybe you should try and get that spark back with her. It's never too late to try if you're both willing.
Yes, I know, but it's hard. Really, she knows it's finished, but for the kids, we are together. How are you?
I want you to know that you are valued in the eyes of our loving God. He does not see your scars or any of your weaknesses. All He sees is a beautiful lady with a loving heart. Please remember this always! There is a person waiting just for you. God has this person picked out and will reveal them to you when He is ready. God's timeline is His and His alone. We have to be patient and wait for Him to do His wonderful work. You will be happy and will find that person. They will love you for who you are, and they won't care about your scars. I will pray for you that you will be at peace with yourself and the person God has waiting for you.