Need Some Inspiration Today

Posted by Scuba_diver1972

on Oct 15, 2020

Just found out my ex Narc significant other is trolling on the same Ostomy sites ....AWKWARD! I really thought he was my Ostomate for life.. Honest people are hard to come by and the World is seeming like a MUCH smaller place.
I have been on these Ostomy sites for some time now and I felt very fortunate a few years ago when I met who I thought would be the end of my searching for that human being who finally got me..Well needless to say this person was not forthcoming about their mental and emotional state and I barely escaped this person who lived in the fringes of society which until I did a background check had not a clue...Call me naive but I don't believe we should have to do background checks on every person we bring into our inner circles and close to us? Has anyone had a positive experience with emotionally healthy individuals not to say I'm perfect but I believe in self improvement and I am in therapy not because of any mental illness but because of the guilt I've felt over being sick and being a single mother and caregiver!! Mental health goes so disregarded and I think everyone could use therapy after going through trauma like so many of us have here. I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this subject..and should I alert the people the ex are trolling for to warn them like I was finally warned by their exes to run as fast as I could away from this person. I wouldn't wish the chaos and destruction this person caused on anyone...!

Regards to my fellow compadres!!

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Comments:

Puppyluv56 : I would certainly warn someone if you see this person is trying to scam or hurt someone. Glad you were able to get away from someone as unhealthy as he he was for you.
Pup Oct 16, 2020

Bill : Hello scuba diver 1972.
I am sorry to hear about your problems with your ex. but you are by no means alone in experiencing a change in behaviour of partners once they think they have attained some degree of influence and control over your emotions. 'Bullies' will perceive 'kindness', 'care' and 'love' as emotional weakness, which can be manipulated and abused. This is what they do!
My personal belief is that the 'world' should know about how they behave so that potential others do not fall into the same trap. However, our modern world seems to be overrun by all sort of bullies adopting a variety of different strategies for abusing others and it is difficult to address them all at once.
I was moved by your blog because it reminded me of the women that I am presently supporting who are experiencing the same sort of abuse.
There is not much else that I can do, other than to expose their nasty game-playing through the medium of rhyme.
Below is a small sample of the many rhymes penned to try to capture this concept.
Best wishes
Bill

BBC & ABC.

Before the Bullying Commenced, (BBC)
I was naïve, so had not sensed
that what he thought was cleverness
could be described as care-less-ness.

Before the bullying began,
he seemed a caring, friendly man,
who treated me with love and care
and mostly he was fair and square.

And when the children acted bad,
he did his duty as a dad,
and pointed out what ought to be
right and wrong for them to see.

Before the bullying began,
he seemed a reasonable man,
who had a sense of humour and
most of the time would understand.

Before his bullying had started,
he seemed kind and open hearted.
At times, he could be amorous
and sometimes he was generous.

Before the bullying arose,
this man deliberately chose
to behave in ways that he
became a perfect match for me.

Before his bullying occurred,
there was no doubt that I preferred
to give to him the benefit
of any doubts that may have fit.

Before his bullying commenced,
I was naïve, so had not sensed
that this behaviour was a ruse,
a prelude for him to abuse.

(continued-----)

BBC & ABC. (---continued)

But After Bullying Commenced, (ABC)
our relationship was tensed
to the point where I began
to look more closely at this man.

When once the bullying began,
somehow, he seemed a different man,
and now his personality
showed he was a sneaky bully.

Those devious little things he did,
and the behaviour that he hid
from others, so they would not see
that really, he was a bully.

The ways he tried to isolate,
dominate and subjugate,
really began to become clear
when once I overcame my fear.

All that clever, blaming us,
so maybe wed not make a fuss,
was simply yet another ploy
for this bully to annoy.

The last-straw was when he abused
the children and then he accused
them of being in the wrong
when it had been him all along.

Of course, this man tries to deny
the what, the who, the when and why,
but I believe in karma so,
hopefully, the world will know.

Before and after, helps us to
see life from a different view,
then we can pass on what we know
so down this path others wont go.

Be Withers 2020
Oct 21, 2020

Scuba_diver1972 : Beautifully articulated and as usual always lyrical and poetic! My father is a poet and I always appreciate the sage words which when used correctly have such a healing and soothing affect! Poetry is a dying art and so are good people who are not put on this planet to use or harm but to better and improve humanity! Cheers and ???? thank you Nov 30, 2020