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Jan 21, 2020

Intimate Sex with Ostomy - How is it Possible?

The topic at hand is about intimacy and relationships for people who have an ostomy, which is a surgical opening that allows waste to leave the body into a pouch. The discussion revolves around whether it's possible for a partner to be unaware of the ostomy during intimate moments. Here are some insights and advice shared by individuals who have navigated this situation:

1. Strategic Clothing and Lingerie
- Consider wearing clothing that covers the ostomy area, such as bustiers, corsets, or crotchless lingerie. Materials like leather, silk, or satin can be both stylish and functional.
- A stretchy tube top or a belly band can be used to cover the stoma area while leaving other areas accessible.
- Maternity wraps or hernia belts can help keep the pouch flat against the abdomen.
- Some prefer to wear loose T-shirts in dim lighting or keep a shirt on, removing clothing only as needed.

2. Pouch Management Before Intimacy
- Empty the pouch beforehand and secure it to minimize bulk.
- Some people with an ileostomy avoid eating for a few hours, while those with a colostomy might plan intimate moments after irrigation.
- Ensure the pouch is well-secured to prevent leaks and noise. Decorative pouch covers can also be used.

3. Dealing with Noise and Odor
- Be prepared for occasional sounds. Informing a partner beforehand can help, or use background music to mask any noise.
- Stoma plugs can be an option for those with a colostomy when output is predictable.

4. Explanations if Asked
- Have quick explanations ready, such as mentioning "abdominal surgery" or "wearing a support for a hernia."
- If the relationship becomes serious, honesty is generally advised, as hiding the ostomy indefinitely is not seen as realistic.

5. Psychological and Dating Tips
- Confidence is key. Many find success in dating, as chemistry often outweighs concerns about the ostomy.
- One person shared having numerous dates and keeping their shirt on during intimate moments without issues.
- For those experiencing erectile dysfunction after pelvic surgery, urologists can prescribe Trimix injections, which are highly effective.

6. Terminology and Attitude
- Reframe how you think about the pouch. It's not just a "bag," but a lifesaving adaptation. A positive attitude can make intimacy more comfortable for both partners.

These insights aim to help individuals with an ostomy feel more confident and comfortable in intimate situations, ensuring that their relationships can thrive despite any challenges.
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