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Sep 22, 2020

Vaginal Intercourse Concerns After Ileostomy - Seeking Advice from Women with Similar Experience

The topic at hand is about concerns regarding vaginal intercourse after undergoing an ileostomy, where the anal stump is left in place. The person considering the surgery is worried about potential pain, changes in sensation, or the possibility of intercourse becoming impossible, as mentioned in a hospital leaflet. Despite reassurances from medical professionals, she seeks real-life experiences from other women to help make her decision.

Here are some insights and advice shared by others:

1. Every body is unique, and reactions to surgery can vary. While many women experience little to no change in their sexual experience, a few may encounter pain or reduced depth. The outcome often depends on the surgical technique, individual healing processes, and any pre-existing pelvic issues.

2. For those with the rectal stump left in place, many women report no change in their sexual experience, and some even have normal vaginal births.

3. If the rectum is completely removed:
- Some women still enjoy normal, pain-free intercourse.
- Others might feel tightness or severe pain. Being in a position where the woman is on top can help manage discomfort by allowing control over depth and angle.

4. Without the rectum providing support, the upper vagina might drop when lying on the back, causing discomfort. Positions that allow gravity to pull the vagina forward, such as standing, bending over, or lying on the side, can be more comfortable. It's best to avoid lying on the stomach early on, as the partner's weight might irritate the surgical site.

5. Allow adequate healing time before resuming intercourse, typically 1–2 months, or as advised by your surgeon, to prevent complications like hernias and to let tissues settle.

6. Open communication with a colorectal surgeon who understands female pelvic anatomy is crucial. Discuss any concerns about sexual function beforehand so they can adjust their surgical technique accordingly.

7. If vaginal intercourse remains too painful, couples can explore other forms of sexual intimacy, which are generally unaffected by the surgery.

8. Many women find that the surgery significantly improves their quality of life and are satisfied with their sexual function afterward.
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