The topic at hand is about exploring the possibility of having meaningful relationships without sexual intercourse, especially after living with an ostomy. The person sharing their experience has been living with an ostomy for about ten years and due to surgical complications, conventional sexual intercourse is no longer possible for them. They are seeking advice on whether deep and meaningful relationships can still be achieved without sex.
Here are some insights and advice shared by others:
1. Companionship and love without intercourse are definitely possible. Many people have long, happy marriages or partnerships that are built on affection, trust, hugs, and emotional intimacy. This type of relationship is sometimes referred to as a "Josephite marriage."
2. Sexual intimacy is broader than just penetration. Alternatives include manual and oral stimulation, mutual masturbation, erotic touch, fantasy, and other activities that engage the brain as the primary sex organ.
3. It's important to take time to rediscover your own body and desires. Healing, both physical and emotional, along with patience, is key.
4. Open and honest communication with a prospective or current partner is essential. Discuss your limits, needs, and what feels good for each of you.
5. There are online resources available, such as RomanceOnly.com, a dating site for people who either cannot or choose not to have intercourse but still want companionship or non-penetrative intimacy.
6. A real-life success story shared involves two people with ostomies (an ileostomy and a urostomy) who developed a long-distance friendship that blossomed into a satisfying romantic and sexual relationship despite physical limitations.
7. Consider adopting relationship "AIMS": be present, consistent, honest, non-judgmental, listen empathically, keep confidence, enable and empower each other, show unconditional positive regard, respect individuality, and focus on caring.
8. Professional counseling can be helpful in reassuring you that whatever works for you and your partner is "normal for you." Many intimacy issues can be solved through creativity and mutual support.
See full discusison