This topic is about a 40-year-old woman who has been living with an ileostomy since 2018 due to severe Crohn’s disease. She feels isolated and inexperienced in dating, as she is still a virgin and has no friends who share her condition. She worries about finding a partner who will accept her ostomy pouch, her reliance on Social-Security Disability, her frequent lack of energy, and her inability to have children. She reaches out to a forum seeking real-life dating experiences, friendship, and hope.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

1. Acceptance & Disclosure
- It's important to remember that anyone who cannot accept an ostomy is not the right partner. Be open about it early on, before things get intimate, and do so with confidence.
- Work on self-acceptance first. Confidence, humor, and honesty can make the ostomy pouch seem far less significant to potential partners.

2. Practical Dating Tips
- Consider dating "for practice" without any expectations, even with people outside your geographic area, to help rebuild your confidence.
- Use online platforms and be upfront in your profiles to quickly filter out those who are not understanding.
- Engage in activities like volunteering, joining clubs, church groups, or civic organizations to expand your social circle.

3. Clothing & Body-Image Aids
- Use supportive wraps or belts to secure the pouch during dates. Some people use a five-inch-wide black neoprene belt.
- Products like "OstomySecrets" waistbands or covers can help with concealment and boost confidence.
- Clothing like tankinis, jeans, and dresses can be adapted, and some even wear bikinis comfortably.

4. Real-Life Success Stories
- A long-term ileostomate who has been living with an ostomy since age 15 has dated, married twice, and raised children, stating that the ostomy was "the least of my problems."
- One man met and married a fellow ostomate through an ostomy association, while another found love with a widowed ostomate he met on the forum, showing that shared experiences can bond couples but are not necessary.
- A member who has been dating since teenage surgery reports no negative reactions over 25 years.

5. Motivation & Perspective
- Embrace your ostomy as a badge of survival and don't be ashamed of it.
- Age, disability, and infertility do not diminish your attractiveness. You have yourself to offer, and adoption is an option for those who wish to have children later.
- Build happiness daily through small enjoyable activities, prayer or spirituality, and reaching out for support to combat isolation.

6. Community & Resources
- Local and international ostomy associations, such as the Queensland Ostomy Group in Australia and the Papua New Guinea Ostomy Association, are great places to meet peers or volunteer.
- Large, supportive online communities, including this forum and other ostomy sites, as well as Christian dating sites, can provide friendship and potential partners, regardless of distance.