Dating with a colostomy can feel like a daunting task, but you're definitely not alone in navigating this journey. Here are some friendly tips and insights from others who have been in the same boat:

- Online and mainstream dating: Many people have found success on regular dating sites and apps. Engaging in casual chats can be a great way to practice sharing your story and see how others react before meeting in person.

- When to disclose the ostomy: Some prefer to wait a few dates and bring it up just before things get intimate, allowing the other person to get to know them first. Others choose to mention it upfront, moving on if the person can't accept it. Ultimately, there's no one-size-fits-all answer—go with what feels right for you.

- Confidence and self-esteem: Your attitude can set the tone. Displaying confidence often encourages others to follow suit. Humor can be a great icebreaker, whether it's giving your pouch a funny name or making light-hearted jokes about it. One bold example is a lower-back tattoo that turns curiosity into conversation.

- Handling negative reactions: Rejection is a part of life for everyone, so try not to blame the stoma. If a partner is repelled, it might be best to move on. Many have left such relationships and later found partners who fully accept them.

- Practical ways to feel attractive: Consider adding some flair to the visible part of your pouch or wearing lingerie or underwear designed for ostomates. Ostomy Secrets offers styles with built-in pouch pockets for both women and men. Keeping your pouches fresh and odor-free can also boost your confidence.

- Taking it slow after illness or loss: Allow yourself time to heal both emotionally and physically. Take life one day at a time and don't rush into new relationships.

- Success stories and hope: There are many stories of partners who don't mind the bag at all. For instance, a new romance blossomed at age 62 after a long relationship ended. A 22-year-old even found dating easier post-surgery than during active Crohn’s disease, highlighting that the main barrier is often in our own minds.

- Small-town or limited dating pools: If local options are limited, consider using national dating sites and ostomy forums to expand your circle while you're still healing.

- Other health factors: If you have additional medical issues, like one member who mentioned using Enbrel for arthritis, these may influence how and when you share your story.