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41,407 members
Mar 26, 2011

Facing Life with a Stoma: My Journey of Resilience and Choices

This topic is about adjusting to life with a permanent ileostomy, which can be an emotional and challenging journey. The person sharing their experience has just left the hospital and is dealing with a new diagnosis that requires lifelong medication. They are feeling a mix of emotions, from being a strong fighter to feeling vulnerable and scared. Here are some of the questions and concerns they have, along with advice and insights from others who have been through similar experiences:

- Deciding how much to share about the stoma with others, including friends and potential partners.
- Considering whether to formally grieve the loss of their colon.
- Figuring out if they need to change their wardrobe to conceal the pouch.
- Wondering if therapy could be beneficial.
- Questioning if dating is still possible and how their age might affect this.
- Worrying that family kindness might be pity and feeling unsure about when it's okay to cry.

The person is aware that this is the beginning of a new chapter and hopes that documenting their journey will help them stay grounded. They plan to continue blogging and are open to exploring the grief-cycle framework suggested by others.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights offered by others:

1. Take your time and allow yourself to adjust; the questions and fears will become more manageable with experience.
2. Remember that you are still the same person; only your anatomy has changed, and most people won't notice.
3. Accept support from family, friends, and online communities; don't hesitate to ask questions.
4. Recognize that you are grieving a loss, which might include the loss of a self-image. The grief-cycle model can help you reflect and journal.
5. Acceptance will come with time, not from external sources. Start by being strong for others, and you'll learn to be strong for yourself.
6. While an ileostomy will change your life, it also brings freedom and better health. Many people come to appreciate the quality of life it restores.
7. Remember that you are not alone; there is a supportive community ready to accompany and encourage you.
See full discusison
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