This topic is about dealing with insensitive comments when you have an invisible chronic illness and an ostomy. It can be tough when people don't understand what you're going through and make hurtful remarks. Here are some pieces of advice and insights to help you cope:

1. Understand that many people may not grasp the reality of an invisible illness. Their comments often come from a place of self-centeredness or a lack of empathy.

2. Live your life according to your own needs. Work, rest, and socialize as you are able. Remember, you are achieving a lot, even more than some people without health challenges.

3. When faced with insensitive remarks:
- Be direct and explain that your chronic illness limits your energy and you need to prioritize your health.
- A sharp response like, "I’m lucky to be doing what I can after all I’ve been through," might help end the conversation.
- If necessary, showing the top of your pouch, stoma, or surgical scar can provide a reality check for persistent critics.

4. Protect your emotional well-being:
- Ignore or distance yourself from those who consistently make hurtful comments.
- Occasionally venting to supportive peers can help prevent resentment from building up.
- It's normal to feel frustrated and wish others could understand your experience, but try to redirect that energy into taking care of yourself.

5. Seek or offer peer support:
- Look for local ostomy support groups or check the United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) website for resources.
- Consider connecting with or becoming a certified "ostomy visitor" to share experiences with others. Most programs require training through local support groups and may have a one-year post-surgery waiting period.
- Peer networks can provide the emotional support that surgeons and hospitals often do not offer after surgery.