This topic is about deciding whether or not to tell others about having an ileostomy or ostomy. Here are some thoughts and advice shared by someone who has lived with an ileostomy for 30 years:

- Most people won't notice an ostomy appliance under regular clothing.
- In places like massage parlors or gym changing rooms, you can avoid questions by using simple strategies like keeping a towel on, turning your back, or wearing a long top first.
- If there's any leakage or staining, it can often be explained away as a spilled drink or dropped food. For more serious accidents, you can quietly leave and say you’re feeling unwell or need medication.
- Spare supplies can be carried discreetly in a small toiletries bag. If questioned, such as at airport security, you can simply say they are "medical supplies."
- Since people generally don’t talk about toilet habits or sex lives, there’s no obligation to share these details.
- However, keeping it a secret might prevent friends from being open with you and could lead to gossip if they find out from someone else.
- Online communities are valuable for honest discussions, and it’s interesting to hear how others decide when or if to tell.

Here are some additional insights and advice:

1. Many find it helpful to only disclose to partners, close friends, or employers when necessary, such as when there are restrictions on heavy lifting or potential lateness due to stoma issues.
2. Being open can be supportive to others who might face ostomy surgery. For example, one person’s openness at work reassured a colleague who might need an ostomy in the future.
3. In dating and intimacy:
- Many have found that the right partners accept the ostomy without hesitation. Those who don’t are probably not worth the effort.
- Telling someone early on can reduce anxiety and prevent awkward situations later.
4. In the workplace, a brief explanation of any limitations or unexpected absences can be helpful. Some colleagues may already have personal experience and be understanding.
5. At social events and while traveling, modesty techniques like keeping the pouch covered and packing supplies in a small bag labeled "medical" can help you participate without drawing attention.
6. Public awareness is supported through websites, forums, YouTube videos, and ostomy events, rather than displaying pouches openly in everyday settings.
7. Regarding supplies and costs, UK members note that all ostomy products are provided free on NHS prescription, although the retail price of a box of 30 bags is surprisingly high.