This topic is about navigating life with an ostomy, particularly focusing on how partners handle the challenges that come with surgeries and living with an ostomy. The discussion aims to share experiences that can offer encouragement and support to others in similar situations.

- Many partners are incredibly supportive, helping with tasks like showering, changing bags, grocery shopping, and driving to appointments. They often learn from WOC nurses or online resources and use humor to lighten the mood, with stoma names like "Stanley" or "Lily" adding a playful touch.

- Communication is key. Partners can't read minds, so it's important to clearly express needs and discuss any limitations before surgeries. Involving other helpers when necessary can also be beneficial.

- Humor and naming the stoma can help ease embarrassment and strengthen intimacy between partners.

- Self-image can be a struggle, often lagging behind a partner's acceptance. Working on self-love, seeking counseling, and finding peer support can help overcome feelings of being "gross, ugly, or unwanted."

- Intimacy varies among couples. Some find their sex lives unchanged or even improved, while others experience reduced intimacy. It's recommended to have open conversations rather than making assumptions.

- Long-term resilience is possible. Relationships lasting 29–50 years show that mutual commitment, patience, and adaptability can sustain partnerships through the challenges of ostomies, cancer, surgeries, and caregiving.

- An ostomy can sometimes act as a "jerk detector," revealing pre-existing relationship issues. If a partner leaves during illness, it might be a blessing in disguise.

- Partners can feel overwhelmed, like waking up to a house wrecked after a party. Offering specific tasks and educating them can help them know where to start.

- Some members have faced abandonment or abuse after diagnosis or surgery. They stress the importance of personal safety, legal and financial protection, and seeking professional help.

- Cancer survivors often live in 6-month blocks between scans, a mental load that partners might forget. Regular conversations can help manage this ongoing stress.

- Gratitude and perspective are important. Survivors focus on being alive, celebrating each "win," and appreciating supportive partners and family.

- A practical tip: If the stoma sits in a skin fold, having two people change the bag can prevent leaks and protect sensitive skin.

- Caring roles can reverse over time. Some members now care for their partners after their surgeries, showing the reciprocity that can develop over decades.