This topic is about a woman who is seven weeks into her recovery from a permanent ileostomy surgery due to Crohn’s disease. She is eager to resume intimacy with her husband, but he seems hesitant and possibly uncomfortable with her stoma. This situation has left her feeling rejected and concerned about her self-worth. She is reaching out to see if others have experienced similar challenges and to seek advice.

Here are some helpful insights and advice shared by others:

1. It's not uncommon for a partner to feel discomfort or hesitation after major surgery or visible body changes. This is a normal reaction.

2. Open communication is key. Have an honest conversation about your feelings, fears, and expectations. If talking directly is difficult, consider seeking help from a counselor or psychologist.

3. Your husband might be worried about hurting you. Many partners fear causing pain or damaging the stoma. Reassure him, and if needed, consult a doctor for guidance.

4. Give it more time. At seven weeks, both of you are still adjusting. Healing, confidence, and desire often improve over the next few weeks or months.

5. Start slowly. Begin with kissing, caressing, and non-penetrative affection to rebuild comfort and reduce anxiety.

6. If it boosts your confidence, consider concealing or securing the pouch:
- Use elastic waist or pregnancy support wraps.
- Try opaque or lacy ostomy bands available online.
- Wear sexy bodysuits or camisoles.
- Use stretch panties in a smaller size, reversed to cover the bag.
- Consider lacy wraps or simple camis for partial coverage.
- Ordinary elastic waist wraps are also suggested.

7. Choose quieter or opaque appliances. Some prefer a clean, closed QuietWear pouch to minimize noise or visibility.

8. Confidence is important. Accept the stoma as a life-saving change. Self-assurance can help ease your partner’s discomfort.

9. Seek peer support. Talking with female friends, other women with ostomies, or couples where both partners have ostomies can offer perspective and practical tips.

10. Remember that intimacy is more than just sex. Maintain affection, patience, and teamwork. Intimacy often returns naturally as communication and comfort improve.

A key thought to keep in mind: "We only get one life; don’t let what saved your life be the thing that ruins it.