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Oct 27, 2023

My Wife's Behavior Changed After Surgery - Seeking Reassurance

This topic is about a husband who is seeking reassurance after his wife underwent an emergency ileostomy and hysterectomy. Since the surgery, she has been showing an unusual level of affection, reminiscent of their early days together. While he enjoys this closeness, he is concerned about the emotional impact of the surgeries on her and wonders if introducing a therapist might help. He loves her deeply and wants to support her healing process.

Here are some insights and advice for the husband:

1. Post-surgery medications and anesthesia can sometimes cause temporary changes in behavior, such as increased affection or mood swings. These effects usually diminish as the medication is reduced.

2. Hormonal changes after a hysterectomy can also affect mood and libido. It might be helpful to discuss her hormone levels with her doctors and consider hormone-replacement therapy if needed.

3. The surgeries may have triggered fears about her femininity or attractiveness. Providing constant verbal and physical reassurance is crucial, as support from a partner is especially meaningful.

4. Before considering therapy for her, have an open discussion with the surgical team. They can help determine if her behavior is due to medication side effects or other medical issues.

5. If therapy is needed, it might be beneficial for you to seek counseling first. This can help you support her without making her feel like something is wrong.

6. Continue to show gentle affection and let her set the pace for intimacy once she is medically cleared. Your emotional support will aid her recovery.

7. Your ongoing involvement is vital, as some partners distance themselves after such surgeries. Your presence is a significant asset to her healing.

8. If her flirtatious behavior extends to others, it may be another medication effect. Note it for the doctors but avoid confronting her while she is still under medication.

9. Others who have experienced similar surgeries report that increased affection often settles down naturally within a few weeks.

10. Embrace the affection and enjoy this time together. It’s a chance to feel young again, and things are likely to stabilize as she continues to heal.
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