This topic is about how living with a stoma can affect one's confidence, feelings of intimacy, and sense of being "wanted." The person who started the conversation is curious about whether having a stoma changes how we perceive others' feelings towards us and how we act, whether we're single or in a relationship. They mention that many people struggle with confidence after surgery and are interested in hearing about others' experiences.

Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

- Confidence is something you can build over time. Develop daily habits that boost resilience, practice positive self-talk, avoid negativity, and remember that a stoma is just one of many life events that can affect confidence.

- Start with self-acceptance. Love yourself unconditionally, be grateful for the health and life your stoma provides, and remind yourself that you are already enough.

- Give yourself time. Acceptance comes at different speeds for everyone. Some people need months, others years, or even a second stoma to feel comfortable. Keep pushing forward, and you will find your peace.

- Embrace your stoma. If you act as though it doesn't diminish you, most people will follow your lead. Many have reported no rejection from partners or dates.

- Decide who needs to know about your stoma. Some people tell almost no one, while others are open with family, friends, or even strangers. Choose the approach that best protects your confidence.

- Tips for intimacy:
1. Have honest conversations with partners about your fears before being intimate.
2. Use humor to ease any tension.
3. Remember that many partners focus on you, not the pouch.
4. A supportive partner can help with acceptance, while a lack of support can be hurtful.

- With age often comes perspective. Older individuals report caring less about appearance, laughing at past vanity, and valuing inner qualities over a "perfect" body.

- If your confidence takes a hit after a breakup or divorce, remind yourself that you've had successful relationships before, even with a stoma, and it's possible to have them again.

- For those still struggling with body image, scarring, or fear of dating or sleepovers:
1. Wear clothes that make you feel good and hide the appliance if that helps.
2. Use daily affirmations, take small positive actions, and surround yourself with upbeat company.
3. Focus on shared interests—people with similar passions often connect, and substance, not looks, sustains relationships.

- Balance is important. Acknowledge the challenges, but don't let the pouch dominate your life. Adjust, move on, and stay present.

- Inspirational quotes shared by others include:
1. "He that would catch fish must venture his bait." – B. Franklin
2. "I can accept failure… but I can’t accept not trying." – M. Jordan
3. "No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself." – V. Woolf

- The overall message from many voices is that the stoma saved your life. View it with gratitude, nurture your self-confidence, and the right people will appreciate you just as you are.