This topic is about navigating the emotional and physical challenges that come with multiple ostomy surgeries, especially when compounded by personal trauma, relationship breakdowns, and body image issues. The person sharing their story has faced a series of tough experiences, including several surgeries, family losses, and a difficult relationship, all of which have taken a toll on their mental and emotional well-being. They are reaching out to a community that understands the unique challenges of living with an ostomy. Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others who have been through similar experiences:

1. Community reassurance
- Many people have experienced the loss of partners or friends after illness, leading to feelings of loneliness. This forum is a safe space where you can express yourself freely, knowing that no rant is too extreme and all questions are welcome.
- You are not alone in experiencing dark mental places after severe illness and hospitalization.

2. Perspective on beauty and body image
- Physical appearance changes for everyone over time, but what truly matters is character and resilience.
- A stoma does not reduce your worth. With time, many people find they can appreciate their own beauty again.

3. Dealing with abusive or unsupportive partners
- Verbal abuse is never acceptable. Leaving such a relationship, although painful, is healthier in the long run.
- Abusers rarely change, and their behavior is a reflection of them, not you.

4. Healing takes time
- Emotional and physical recovery is a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and recognize your inner strength.
- Surgeries can feel like the end of the "old you," but they also offer a chance to become someone deeper and wiser.

5. Mental-health support
- Seeking professional help for PTSD, such as therapy, counseling, or support groups, is important. Utilize available resources whenever possible.

6. Parenting encouragement
- Your children see you as their loving parent, and your body changes do not affect their unconditional love for you.

7. Building supportive networks
- Engage with ostomy or IBD communities online and locally. Shared experiences can help reduce feelings of isolation.
- Forum members and others often extend open invitations for coffee, chats, and mutual support, even across countries.

8. Life after an ostomy
- An ostomy can restore life and normal activities. Over time, expectations adjust, and new, fulfilling visions for the future can emerge.