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Mar 06, 2012

Dating with a Colostomy: When to Share?

Topic Explanation
The discussion revolves around the appropriate timing for disclosing one's colostomy when dating. The original poster is seeking advice on when to inform potential partners about their colostomy, aiming to gather thoughts and experiences from others who might be in similar situations or have relevant insights.

Advice and Insights from Replies
1. Timing of Disclosure:
- Consider waiting until about the third date to disclose, as this allows some time to gauge mutual interest and comfort levels before sharing personal medical information.
- Alternatively, being upfront from the beginning, such as mentioning it on a dating profile, can also be effective. This approach can help filter out those who may not be understanding or accepting, thus saving time and emotional energy.

2. Method of Disclosure:
- Mentioning that you have a "secret" or something important to share at the end of the second date can prepare the other person psychologically, making the actual disclosure less shocking.

3. Personal Acceptance:
- Your own feelings towards your colostomy significantly influence how others perceive it. If you are comfortable and accepting of your condition, it is more likely that your date will also accept it. Practicing disclosure with friends or acquaintances might help you become more comfortable.

4. General Observations and Experiences:
- There is no universally perfect moment to disclose, as people's receptiveness can vary widely. Some individuals may never be comfortable with it, regardless of the timing or how well they know you.
- Embrace your condition positively and live confidently. Being content and happy with yourself can attract people who appreciate and accept you as you are.
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