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Mar 06, 2012

Dating with a Colostomy: When to Share?

The topic at hand is about navigating the world of dating when you have a colostomy. It can be a sensitive subject, and many people wonder about the right time to share this personal detail with a potential partner. Here are some thoughtful pieces of advice and insights to consider:

- Common timing suggestions:
- Some people suggest hinting at having "a secret" by the end of the second date and then sharing the full details on the third date.
- Others feel comfortable waiting until the fourth date, as by then you might have a better sense of whether you want to continue investing in the relationship.
- Ultimately, there is no fixed rule. It's more about whether you feel the relationship is progressing rather than counting the number of dates.

- It's important to be comfortable with your own ostomy first. The way you present it can influence how your partner reacts. Practicing with trusted friends or coworkers can help build your confidence.

- If you're using online dating, consider being upfront about your ostomy in your profile. Many people are understanding, and this can relieve some pressure later on.

- From a personal acceptance perspective, remember that if someone sees the ostomy as a deal-breaker, they might not be the right person for you. Living openly and happily can attract partners who are accepting.

- An alternative approach is to date someone who already has an ostomy or is familiar with the situation, which can remove the anxiety of disclosure.

- Keep in mind the importance of gratitude for the ostomy giving you your life back. Focus on living in the present and don't let "what-ifs" delay your happiness.
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