The topic at hand is about deciding when and how to talk about having an ileostomy on a first date. This can be a delicate subject, especially when meeting someone new, and the person in question is a single mother who has had an ileostomy since December 2011. She is about to meet a man she connected with online and is contemplating the best time to bring up her stoma. Here are some pieces of advice and insights shared by others:

- Enjoy your first date and focus on whether there's a genuine connection. It's often suggested to wait until you both like each other before discussing the ileostomy.
- Some people recommend waiting a few dates or until the relationship becomes more intimate before sharing personal details.
- Let your personality shine first. There's no rush to discuss medical details right away.
- Different approaches work for different people. Some prefer to disclose early to filter out unsuitable partners, while others wait until there's mutual interest and trust. Do what feels right for you.
- Pay attention to the other person's empathy and kindness. If they can't handle the ostomy, they might not be a suitable long-term partner.
- Keep in mind that everyone faces health issues eventually. If he can't accept yours, it might not be a significant loss.
- Consider meeting in neutral public places initially and continue conversations online or by phone if that makes you feel more comfortable.
- Try not to let the ostomy dominate your thoughts. It might be a big deal to you, but it probably isn't to him.
- Experiences vary: some women find men might be more put off, but there are many positive stories where partners see the ostomy as a non-issue.
- Ultimately, be yourself, take your time, and ensure he is worthy of knowing such personal details about you.