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41,403 members
Jun 09, 2015

Life at 60 - Seeking Companionship and Coping with Health Issues

This topic is about a 60-year-old man who has been living with an ileostomy since 2007. He is facing loneliness after several divorces and a recent move to a new area where he doesn't know anyone. He is seeking companionship and advice on how to cope with his health challenges and emotional needs.

Here are some insights and advice that might be helpful:

1. He has experienced surgery complications that affected his pelvic nerves, requiring him to self-catheterize to urinate and resulting in a loss of erectile function. He is also living with inactive Hepatitis C.

2. Despite these challenges, he is financially independent, a non-smoker, and a light drinker. He recently lost weight after being hospitalized for dehydration and a urinary tract infection.

3. He values reciprocity in relationships and is looking for friends of either sex, ideally hoping to find a female partner or housemate.

4. Although he believes in Christian teachings, he feels uncomfortable attending church solely to meet someone.

5. Historically, he has not coped well with being single, rarely spending more than three months without female companionship since 1979.

6. He is reaching out to the community for practical suggestions on making friends and finding a partner while managing his medical and emotional issues.

7. He is open to conversations about coping with life's big issues, emphasizing that these are not romantic approaches but rather discussions about dealing with challenges.

8. Expanding his online support circle is recommended. Communities like this one and MyCrohnsAndColitis.org are suggested as welcoming places to connect with people who understand ostomy-related challenges.

9. It's important to believe that "there is someone for everyone," but also to remain cautious. Loneliness can make people vulnerable to those who might exploit financial independence or emotional needs.

10. Using private messaging or scheduled online chats can help develop friendships safely before considering in-person meetings.
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