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Sep 01, 2016

Fear of Dating with a Colostomy - Overcoming the Dread

The topic at hand is about the fear and anxiety that can come with dating when you have a colostomy. It can be daunting to think about disclosing this personal aspect to potential partners. Here are some helpful insights and advice to navigate this situation:

- Embrace your confidence and let your personality and smile shine. If someone decides to walk away, remember it's their loss, not yours.

- Consider when to disclose your colostomy based on what feels right for you:
1. You might choose to wait until the relationship has developed some depth and trust.
2. Alternatively, you could disclose early on to filter out those who may not be able to handle it.
3. Use your judgment and the vibe of the situation to decide; there's no one-size-fits-all rule.

- Keep in mind that nobody is perfect. Think of disclosure as sharing one of many human imperfections. It might be helpful to wait until both of you are comfortable sharing personal vulnerabilities.

- Address your anxiety by confronting it directly. Identify what specifically worries you, analyze it, and try to channel that energy into motivation rather than letting it hold you back.

- Develop qualities like self-confidence, flexibility, humor, and a willingness to take risks. These can make difficult conversations easier and help build stronger relationships.

- A recommended resource is the book "It’s in the Bag and Under the Covers" by Brenda Elsagher, which includes a chapter on dating and forming new relationships after ostomy surgery, featuring real-life stories from others in similar situations.

- Explore existing forum threads on this topic for more real-world experiences and tips from others who have been through the same journey.
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