You are completely capable of enjoying the pleasure of intimacy in whatever way you find satisfying.
I think it might be an emotional response from your partner. It may not necessarily be because she is grossed out, she may be concerned that you could be hurt, or the bag could come away.
I would suggest that you sit down and have a very frank conversation and ask her what her concerns are and that you want her honesty and will not take personally anything that she has to say. This should reassure her that you are not just after sex but worried about her concerns or fears.
If she is grossed out or worried about the bag coming loose, then ask her if you could wrap yourself in ceran or glad wrap (the clear plastic on a roll that clings to itself). This will hold the bag secure and you could always wear a T shirt to cover it.
I am confident that if she is reassured that you won't come to any harm, and you wrap/cover up it won't be on display and she won't be so bothered by it.
Please try to understand her perspective and be patient but honest with each other.
I wish you well and good luck. Lorraine
|Since my opperation i have been told in very clear terms that there is going to be no sex for the duration of my bag.|
Any particular reason? If you cover up with a wrap or belt, then it's no different from her wearing lingerie. There certainly aren't any medical reasons to stop for that long.
For many of us, our ostomy gave us back our sex life, I know it did for me after 5 years of virtually no intimacy because of my illness.
Wishing you the best!
it is so easy to judge but it is not for any of us to pass judgement. You know your wife and your marriage and you obviously care for each other.
Just remember that you will be having the reversal and the old adage this too will pass.
I don't think any amount of cuddling or kisses will get you near the goal posts as women are driven in a different way, meaning we don't get aroused in the same way as a man, it is in (most women not all women) our minds and if she feels so strongly about it you may just have to take things in hand (pardon the pun).
But I wish you both all the very best for the future.