Ostomy memories redux

I’d been in the car four hours, driving from southern Utah to Las Vegas. I needed to find the county courthouse there and check a civil file for my daughter. I should have found someplace to stop to use a bathroom, as I was filling up. I figured that I could just use a courthouse bathroom when I got there, then go to the clerk’s office. Pulling into the crowded parking lot and getting out of my car, my discomfort was increasing. The pouch was beginning to swell beneath my pants. I joined the large number of people heading toward the front door. No one will notice, I thought. It's just like I have a little more belly fat than normal. I’ll just find a bathroom… But I hadn’t counted on the courthouse security precautions. Everyone had to funnel through the metal detector. I put my stuff on the conveyor belt, walked through, and retrieved my items. “Is that everything?” asked a large security guard. It is, I said. “What’s that?” he inquired, pointing directly to the large ostomy bulge in the front of my pants.  

And then what happened? I would like to hear Part 2 of the story.

You'll have to wait till the movie comes out, I guess.  Thanks for commenting, tho.  

Oh my, you should have shown him!

I always wait too, then my bag fills to emergency level!

I was waiting for the end of the story too. LOL

Tips on Hernia Prevention with Collin | Hollister

End of the story:  he accepted my explanation, I found a bathroom, and lived happily ever after.  Stay well.

Oh Henry!  You should have left them hanging! I keep two of those semi-clear plastic urinal containers in my car... they've saved my ass many times when I got stuck in unexpected traffic or when a bathroom I was counting on to be open was closed.  Having a bag more than half full is never a good feeling!  I can't believe the guard believed you and didn't make you show him.  What kind of crappy security is that? Now I know how to sneak my polymer S&W Bodyguard 380 pistol into a place with a metal detector... just stick it behind my bag and tell them my bag is almost full!  You're a genius, Henry!!  Oh, crap... I hope the terrorists aren't ostomates!

Later,

Bob

LMAO, I think we're onto something, Bob.  I've long known that, were I a dope smuggler, I'd have a ready means of avoiding detection.  I think the only reason the courthouse guard bought my explanation was that he was alone there and a large crowd was queued up behind me.  Plus, I'm not as subversive in appearance as the criminal defendants in line to get in for their arraignment.  Be good.   Henry M

Henry, thanks for not leaving us in suspense. LOL. You were lucky not to have had to show him the bag. Most people would have had to show it. Best wishes and stay safe.