Bulge Mishap at the Airport: My Funny ileo Experience!

In the brief 22 months I've had my ileo, I have been asked at least a hundred times "What's that bulge under your shirt?" And on perhaps 8-9 occasions while in a store, I've been accused of stealing something. But the last time I flew to Guam, the airport checker was frisking me and grabbed the bag. He asked me to lay it on the table. I thought about it for a few seconds and asked him, "Do you really want me to do that?" He said yes. I lifted my shirt, and of course, I wear my clear bags for flying, and he promptly emptied his lunch in the garbage can. I didn't have any more trouble that day. So who says you can't have fun with your bag.
Bikerboy Greg

Ha! Brilliant...!

Lol, that's funny.

LOL

LOL

Brilliant

Did that happen at San Diego Lindbergh Field, Greg? If so, it wouldn't surprise me. That security check line is the worst I've come across! Anyway, what a kick! We just had a talk at the No San Diego County Ostomy group about how to handle the TSAs, and UOAA has put out a "position" on it. But no one has had such a novel idea as yours - the clear pouch!

I so loved your story, thanks for the laugh.

Great story, so well done!
Will be thinking of it while waiting in security checkpoints from now on!

BikerBoy, you're a real hoot! Love that story!

When I first had my surgery about 6 years ago, I was mortified. I stayed home for about two weeks before I could feel comfortable enough to venture out, and since I ran out of food, a grocery run was in order. I went to the local Albertsons in sweats and a t-shirt (I didn't yet know how to dress with my new "attachment") and stood at the coffee aisle for about 5 minutes trying to find one I wanted. I finally chose a one-pound bag of whole coffee beans. As I was finishing my shopping, my pouch filled with air and it was quite visible. I was frantic to get out of the store and return home where I could release the air (so it wouldn't pop!) Actually, it looked about the same size as a pound of whole coffee beans!
After I checked out and was walking out the door of the store, I was approached by two security guards who promptly "escorted" me to the security office in the back of the store. Since I had never stolen anything, I was horrified to find that I was being accused of it and wondering how I would explain that it was my new ostomy pouch. I tried to explain it to them, but they wanted me to prove it. Since it was new and I was still extremely upset about the whole thing, I was crying and begging them not to make me pull down my pants and show them, but they weren't hearing it. I finally pulled down my sweats and showed them, with tears in my eyes. Of course, I had to yell, "SEE???? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW???" They let me go with a $25 store credit.

I can laugh about it now, but I wasn't laughing that day.

What a horrible experience

Twgmontana, you're my new best friend. Way to go, girl. Keep them in check. I'm sorry you went through that, but I'm glad it's funny now. You're the greatest.
Greg

Good, you can laugh now... but I really feel for what you went through.

I have a medic alert bracelet (it says Ileostomy) that I wear. If they (store security or whatever) are still not satisfied, I repeat that I haven't stolen anything, offer to give them my address, and then if they are still not happy... say I am calling my lawyer before we proceed any further. Works wonders. Be calm, no nonsense.

Most people don't know what an ileostomy is or entails. I've also got a sheet with a photo of the bag under clothes that I have in my purse (along with my spare flange/bag/wipes). Be prepared is what I say. I rarely go anywhere without a 'spare'. Show and tell works wonders. Should we have to do this... not really... but what can you do.

I have not been accused of theft yet, but now I wonder if I have been suspected at any time. I carry bottled water with me during trips because it is the right size for flushing my bag out. I used to buy a bottle at any gas station I stopped at, but now I don't see why I should have to pay the dollar or more just to use their restroom, so I sneak my bottles in. I figure if I sneak them in and don't come out with them, I will be okay.

How awful! Well, I had a very full bag of gas once. I thought it was going to explode. I was on the London Underground at Moorgate, going to Moorfield's Eye Hospital when I felt I couldn't wait any longer. So, I told my husband the predicament I was in. He asked if I was sure it was just gas... 'Yes,' I said... How wrong I was because he stood shielding me so I could discreetly let the air out. Unfortunately, it was half-filled with poop too, which ended up all down my coat, trousers, and the platform floor. And as it was its usual sloppy, impossible to clean up. The few wet wipes I carry with my 'spares' of everything didn't really cope with the humungous amount of splatter marks on my light coat..... He reminds me of it frequently....

I've done that too... where I think I'm only burping some air... but it ends up being not only air.

Now I don't burp anywhere but in the bathroom. For it to be a 'clean burp', I have to feel confident that there's only an inch or so of poop in my bag. Sometimes with the gas... it's hard to tell (my bags are opaque as well).

Truly funny if it wasn't so embarrassing. I went to Malaysia, K.L, then Langkawi Island. I did get searches, but I emptied at the airport. The woman did feel the pouch under my jeans twice and just looked at me. I just showed the scar, that was enough. LOL! Mooza

You should have just sealed your bag back up. Looked at your husband like he did it and let him take the blame. He would understand.

HAHA!

Bikerboy, you are my official hero of the day.

Bless your heart. I bet you were crying. I am crying just reading it.

Holy crap!

I am cramping from laughter.

Got to have some humor in all this. Love it!

I love it!!! I have only had my colostomy since May, but I have had both of my hips replaced and every time we travel they set off the metal detector, then they bring me to another area to use the wand, well since it is my hips when they go over my pockets it sets it off again and no matter what I tell them they are sure I have something in my pockets and have a woman search me in front of everyone!!! I have to send my husband ahead every time so he can retrieve my purse and stuff that they just leave on the stupid conveyor where anyone can grab it while they are handling me, the "Terrorist". The stupid TSA should have an area to handle this stuff more discreetly and should be taught a little "Bedside manner"!!!

Hey! Just love that tattoo!
Rach xx