Hi all, this is Marsha...again, responding mostly to JJJ (about not feeling like damaged goods) and to Cupatears.... I started my journey with ulcerative colitis at 12, and that's when I went through the "why me" stage. At 15, I found out that I would need an emergency ileostomy, and instead of feeling like I was going to be damaged goods, I felt anger and resentment at my parents for cheating me out of 3 years of real life. Ok....I did get over that, eventually. Ironically, it was never the ostomy that made me feel damaged, it was all the stretch marks, from my legs, on my arms, and all over my body. I was a purple zebra (from the steroids) with pink stripes. Not what a teenager wants to look like. So eventually, I was off the steroids, and looked almost normal with my clothes on.... It took me quite a while to adjust to intimacy...and accept my own body, but I did it. It helped to have an understanding and accepting spouse. It helped that he had an ostomy too....but as time went on, I gained weight, and he wasn't happy with that. For some reason, women (and maybe men too) respond to how others think of them, rather than what they think of themselves. Eventually, I divorced, and have been dating for the last 20 years. Mid 40's to mid 60's brought about other changes in my self-esteem.... Why waste time worrying about things I couldn't control. So if a guy has a problem with my weight, stretch marks, or ostomy...it's his problem, not mine...and he's not for me. However....I'm back to feeling like damaged goods...(laugh, people) because my teeth have hairline cracks, and one by one, are splitting and cracking...and leaving me toothless. I look at myself in the mirror, as I put on eye makeup and say why bother, you can't smile without showing the missing and cracked teeth. I don't have dental insurance, am maxed out on my credit cards from drug bills, and can't afford to pay for all the dental repairs that are needed. Sigh...such is life. For me, my ostomy is such a non-issue...in comparison to my toothless smile. I don't know if this helps anyone put things in perspective. There's an ebb and flow to life, and some people are hit harder than others. But we all have the ability to accept our own self and get on with the business of living the best life possible...I currently see only 9 specialists, but a few weeks ago both my knees started aching, and now I can barely walk down steps without pain. I'm hobbling....but all I can think of is that going to an orthopedist is going to add a 10th specialist to my datebook. All these doctor's appointments will definitely cut into my dating social life. I am writing this seriously...and partly with tongue-in-cheek humor. Life for me is what it is, and as difficult as it might be, I don't want to face the alternative...as yet.