Confidence

Hello, this is my first time blogging.

I have a colostomy. My 2-year anniversary is March 2018. This stoma has changed my life dramatically. I'm physically healed. I use a 1-piece closed pouch. I have learned to take care of my stoma. My wife understands but feels it's my issue. Like a woman takes care of her female issues, I should be able to handle mine, which I do. I struggle with the confidence to go and do all the things I used to do. I travel, going to dinner, hanging out with friends. I don't go to the gym. Workout gear not fitting right. No pools or beaches; my physique has changed. I need to embrace this new normal instead of this settling feeling. Missing my SWAG. When does it come back?

Good afternoon, yes, this is a big change and the transition takes time to adjust and to accept. My stoma-anniversary is in March as well. I still have down days, but overall, things are pretty good. I used to ask, "Why me? How did this happen?" but now I've given up asking because everyone has something in their life that is less than perfect. My UC was horrible, and I still remember the pain, sickness, fever, and anemia. I am grateful for the chance to continue living my life. Thank you, God, for the gifted hands of my surgeon. Take care and celebrate the anniversary of your stoma. Our stomas are our lifelines.

Hi there! Life is so short. If you love the beach, ocean, and pool, why stay out? Are you in the USA? Men in North America now wear these baggy Bermuda shorts kind of bathing suits. I'm old enough to remember when men wore Speedos! I'm a plus-size woman, so I wear a bathing suit with a skirt to hide my ileostomy. Either way, I think you could hide your colostomy in those baggy swim shorts. So I'm wondering if you are afraid that your bag will come loose in the ocean or the pool? Here's my experience: I have had my ileostomy for 9.5 years, I swim laps for 1.5 hours, twice a week during the winter; I spend 3.5 months a year in Florida and swim daily there. In August, I swim long distances in the Laurentians—in 2 different mountain lakes...usually about 1 km each way. And in July, I snorkel for hours in Pompano Beach, Florida. I have never, ever had a leak or "wardrobe malfunction" of any kind. I simply "picture frame" my flange with 4 pieces of Hypafix tape. It's a very sticky, breathable, non-latex tape. I wish I could attach a photo. But if you google it, you'll find it easily. I use the 2" tape. There is another waterproof seal called SureSeal. Please google that too. It is really waterproof...but I get a rash if I wear it for more than 2 days in a row...I think it may contain latex...not sure. Nothing is going anywhere if you tape your flange to your body. By the way, I use the Coloplast 2-piece Sensura Click Bags with the Velcro opening. They feel secure to me. I've been a water baby my whole life...and an ileostomy has not changed that. Embrace the beach. Please. Take your wife to a lovely beach. Make her and yourself happy! Good luck, Julie

How long does it take to get completely comfortable where you don't give a f*ck!

Head, I had to read your last message twice...at first I thought you wrote ....WHEN you don't give a F*ck. And I thought, oh my g-d. This guy needs to talk to someone. Then I re-read your message and think you meant to say, "where". If you meant, how long does it take until you don't care about having a stoma? Well my surgery was in Sept. 2008, and by Jan, 2009, I was in cuba, sailing and swimming and enjoying the beach with my family. I felt free and happy. Prior to my stoma, I could have never gone on a 3 hour plane trip ride without having an accident or wearing a diaper. My stoma gave me freedom back. I celebrate that freedom daily. Yes, I get scared too. My stoma was not an issue with my loving husband, but now I'm a widow, an into a new relationship with a younger guy, and so far, I haven't told him about my stoma. I'm afraid he'll run.

How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Thanks for responding and you are right I meant where you don't care if your bag is seen under your clothes. I'm not afraid to travel. I was on a cruise 8 months after surgery. I'm not feeling like the guy I was before.

My Stoma was an emergency. I was not sick before.

Hello Head. You say that you have a colostomy but you don't say whether you have tried irrigation. If you haven't already tried it, then I would strongly recommend that you look into it and give it a go. It's not for everyone but for those like me, irrigation has freed us up from wearing bags and all that messing about finding toilets and cleaning up during the day. It gives us back much more 'normality' and freedom from worry than wearing bags can.
I wear a coloplast plug but I know others who simply wear a cover for protection and it is hardly noticeable even in a swimming costume.
Maybe your SWAG doesn't come with the BAG but it might well make a comeback with irrigation.
Best wishes
and I hope you get your SWAG back soon.
Bill

I have been thinking about irrigation. I'm kind of grossed out by this process. It seems cumbersome. When you travel, are you irrigating? This would bother my wife in the hotel or on a cruise ship.

I went to service this morning. It's all good. Everything works together for your good.

Hello Head. Procedures like irrigation can seem gross and cumbersome but if you think about it, they are no more gross or cumbersome than any other method of expelling waste products from the body. The main advantage of irrigation is that you get it over with in one session, rather than many mini-sessions spread out over time. I tried to calculate how long it took with both methods and found that the irrigation was much more time-efficient. There cannot be many things more gross than leaks and bag emptying, which doesn't happen with irrigation. However, I find that the main advantage is that there is no wearing of a bag, so all the problems associated with it are no longer relevant. Your wife will probably not be involved in the process of irrigation as it takes place in the toilet area in just the same way as 'normal' people go. However, she will benefit by having a partner who doesn't have to worry about where the toilets are or whether there will be embarrassing moments in public. It's all about weighing things up to see what suits you best.
Most people who irrigate find that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
Best wishes
Bill

Thanks Bill, I'm considering it. Right now I use disposable (1 piece closed pouch) and my output is formed - no leaks, no emptying just throw it out. I really appreciate your advice.

Hi Head,

I got my permanent ostomy in October 2017 and I was devastated, but now I am beginning to live again. I go to the gym daily and do everything I did before. I started irrigation in December and this gave me back my confidence; staying dry all day is worth it to me. I only take about 30-40 minutes and always do it at night, and 95% of the time I have no output all day. I am so glad for irrigation and it is not gross at all. Everybody has to go, so it doesn't matter anymore where it comes out of. Yes, I have days when I ask why me, but hey, we all do that. It was a huge surprise to me as I was always very healthy, but they found rectal cancer stage 1 last year when I had appendicitis, shocker. At that point, I wanted to die as I could not see myself living with a freaking bag. However, since irrigation, I feel in control again, which is great. I also love the beaches and have no problem going into the water. Using the bathroom in a hotel for 30 minutes is no big deal anymore and nothing holds me back from what I used to do before. Thank God for irrigation. At the beginning, before irrigation, I hated to always check the bag and see if something was in it as I still work full-time. I did not like it and had quite a few leaks as well.

I would definitely recommend irrigation for anybody who can do it.

I guess I was really lucky; my attitude proved that I worry about things I can change and ignore those I can't. Under those circumstances, I accepted the result of losing my colon, but luckily managed to continue living a life without worrying about having an ileostomy. You can read some of my blogs where I was interviewed, and I wrote my own story about my experiences with health care.

I wish you good luck,
Cheers,
Ed Maste

Ed and Susanne thank you for your response.

I think it starts when we figure out why we feel as if we've changed. Our bodies are altered, but we will always be who we really are. Things change us if we allow them to. If we have to make adjustments, well, that's normal; we do that all the time. Celebrate life and go on living!

Thanks Mrs A for reminding me that I will always be me and for me to celebrate Life. Father, I thank you for my life.

I had a colostomy in August 2017 due to various problems with infections in the two perianal wounds. I didn't start irrigating until 4 weeks ago. I was one of the lucky ones; I had a T2 tumor, rectal/anal, and I have a flat stoma. I have had regular leaks and had zero confidence due to sudden problems caused by extreme pancaking. As I said, I irrigate daily at present, 4 weeks in and the reaction is becoming more predictable. I had problems in the first weeks due to pancaking still. Now I am gaining far more confidence; each morning the bag is empty, it's great. Half an hour out of my morning and I'm good to go.

Thanks for your response. I'm thankful that I have no medical issues (leakage, irritation or hernia). I haven't tried irrigation yet. Mental block of the process. If I were single maybe. My wife is not excited about the Stoma Maintenance. Out of sight Out of mind theory.

I guess I'm stupid. What does irrigating mean? It's the first time I've heard of it. Could you please explain it to me? I am new at that. Thanks, Donna.

Answer to Rhdjailer, irrigation is the introduction of approximately 1 liter of warm water into the stoma. This causes the peristalsis reflex and the colon contents are evacuated through a cellophane chute into the toilet. It is carried out in my case once every 24 hours; between irrigations, there should be zero output from the stoma. Zero output means no toilet hunts or worries when out and about, and as you become more confident and the colon more trained, no bag is needed. Talk to your stoma nurse.

Thanks for the detailed explanation.

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Hi Head and Jailer,
You may want to consider irrigation. Maybe that swag will return because you can go back to doing everything you did before if you have not already. You can only irrigate if you have a colostomy, not with an ileostomy. Check out the YouTube videos. Answers it all!
Pup
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I irrigate at night, no more than 30 minutes, and I am so glad for that. Now I need no bags, and only put a bandaid over the stoma. No output whatsoever during the day which is great. I only put a bag on when I am on a plane as you never know what could happen........