Hey

Hey all. What's everyone up to tonight? I'm just out of a shower where Mr. Stoma did not behave. Now I'm just being awake and snacking on mini marshmallows. I know they are just sugar, but what can I say? It is something I actually like. I have my annual physical tomorrow, and that doctor has already been informed that I am manic. So, I am not looking forward to her asking me about that. My mom says she wants to go in with me, and even though I think I am old enough to see a doctor by myself, given the current situation, I said she could. When I saw my psych last week, I just kept answering all her questions with "I don't know" until she said, "Wait here, I'm going to call your mom in." Then they proceeded to talk about me as if I was on planet Mars or something. I am sure the GP will go much the same. I really don't have the patience to interact with many people right now, but tonight I am trying to think of all the things that I do need to say to the doctor. I'm not getting very far though. I should have written things down a few weeks ago when I was in a better mind. I know she is going to ask me about my ostomy. She doesn't have training in ostomies, so she always asks me a bunch of stupid stuff. Is it just me, or do people think you are an expert on ostomies just because you have one? It's like the people that I meet who know I have an ostomy feel like I should tell them anything they want to know. This is why I don't interact with people very intensely. But like my mom will say, "This is my daughter, she has an ostomy," and then people just start asking me stupid questions. And because it is in my medical records, either doctors and nurses will ignore it and ask me to do or take something I can't, or they will sit for 20 minutes grilling me on what that is like. Even my PTs that I have had want to know all about it, and they have nothing to do with it.

Lee

Hello Lee.
I tend to be the opposite concerning answering questions about stoma issues, in that I  welcome the opportunity to educate people about the gory details of life with a stoma. By the time |I’ve finished, I sometimes get the impression that they wished that they had never asked.
The single, inane question that makes me pause and ponder on how I should reply is when someone simply says “How are you?”
With any such basic question, I feel the need to clarify what my responses might be, long before the next time it happens. My technique for clarification is almost always in rhyme, so I’ll share this one with you  below:

Best wishes
Bill

HOW ARE YOU? – (BRIEF RESPONSES.)

What do you say? What do you do?
When someone questions - “How are you?”
Do you tell the truth or lie
or do you simply ask them - “Why?”

When people ask you how you are
they push the verbal door ajar.
But most will not invite you in
so explanations can’t begin.

I feel this question, when it’s said
is meaning something else instead.
It doesn’t mean they want to know
or want to see your feelings show.

If your life’s so miserable
you’d like to be invisible.
If you have troubles or you’re vexed
what reply would be your next?

Would you explain your handicap
or simply state that you feel crap?
Do you shrug and say - “So- so!”
or tell them - “You don’t want to know!”?

Would you say - “It’s a long story”
or perhaps - “It’s far too gory.”?
Would you rake through all the muck
or simply say your life is ‘Yuck’?

I don’t want to burden folk
so I might smile or tell a joke.
With any illness, I’ll side-line,
and retort that - ”I’m just fine!”

I like my answers short and sweet
so try to keep them all upbeat.
Then when answering I’ll say - 
“I think on balance I’m – okay!”

                                    B. Withers 2012

  (in My Ostomy World-trilogy 2014)

You are a gentleman. I have always been brutally honest, so when they ask me if I am all right, I reply, "You're not my doctor." It works; the subject gets changed.

You are a gentleman. I have always been brutally honest, so when they ask me if I am all right, I reply, "You're not my doctor." It works; the subject gets changed.

I hate that question too because when people ask it, they don't really want to know; they are looking for you to give a swift, close-ended answer. Then they move on to tell you all about themselves and how they are doing. Or else they say, "Well, it's been nice seeing you," as they are walking away before you can say more. I have a shirt with a stressed-looking cat on it that says, "It's fine, I'm fine, everything is fine." When I was in the hospital for psych, they taught us that FINE means "Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional." So whenever I hear or say "I'm fine," I think of that.

Lee

My Ostomy Journey: Bruce | Hollister

You stick to what you feel is best for you. God bless you, lady.

Bless you too. 

Lee