Young Ostomates - Where Are You?!

Hi all! I'm 27 and looking for other young ostomates. I'm in the United States, Georgia to be specific. I'm looking for both local and virtual connections with others in the young adult stage. I have a great local support group, but everyone is over 50 and relatively inactive. When I go through members here local to me, I don't find anyone in my age group. Does anyone have tips on meeting younger fellow ostomates?! Other websites or groups? Right now, I'm looking for friends and community, not necessarily a partner. Thanks!

Check out UOAA - it's our national organization. I'm sure they can guide you in the right direction. We're not alone on this journey of ours.

I've tried, but they have nothing specific for young ostomates. Thanks for the suggestion, though.

50... and inactive? I must be a slug and not know it. What is "active" to you?

I'm only 38, happy to talk, always good to have friends, wherever they are in the world. It would be nice to learn a little about Georgia in the process 🙂

Mr B

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Yeah, this definitely seems to be a tough one for some reason. I'm in a different age group than you, but I totally get the struggle. There are plenty of people on Instagram, but everyone seems pretty spread out. One group that's trying to build more of a presence is the Young Ostomy Alliance; they're on Instagram too if you want to check them out.

“Active” can mean a lot of different things depending on the person. I know someone in this chat mentioned having a hard time with that word, but honestly, I understand what you're saying. I've run into the same issue with local support groups. The people are kind, supportive, and amazing, but sometimes the lifestyles just don't line up beyond the meetings.

The UOAA is actually holding a conference this August down in Orlando. I've got a younger friend group than most people my age, and while I'm not sure exactly who all is going, it's a great space to connect with others, especially people who are active in all kinds of ways 🙂

Thank you so much for the suggestions and understanding. I'm also hoping to attend the conference for more connections!

Checking our YOA now...thank you!

You all are right, active is relative. Truly, I have no intention to offend anyone; I'm just trying to relay that I leave my house on a daily basis and was previously privileged to be very physically fit -- now I'm back at walking and minor hiking levels -- but hope to get back to many things.

@Bri499, what a joy to see all the activities you engage in. Though I'm not sure I'll ever quite be that adventurous again, I'd like to get close to it! P.S. My mom grew up in Hillsdale, NY, right outside Great Barrington. We go back yearly, so maybe our paths will cross!

No way! I love Hillsdale.
I ski every once in a while at Catamount.

100% let me know if you're ever in town. I'd love to hang out.

By the way, never say never on adventure. 😉

I totally agree! I live in an area that is really hard to meet people my age unless I'm drinking, clubbing, going out at night, or going to college. My health issues didn't afford me the opportunity to go to college after high school, so I am one of the few in my area who is in their mid-twenties without a college degree or an official type of fancy job. I find it hard to even make friends because of that. People in their twenties are so judgmental, especially the later into them you get. It seems like everyone has it figured out or at least pretends they do, and when you let the mask slip and they see you don't have it all squared away, it's a game to see who can race to judge you first. I have no interest in comparing college degrees, knowledge, or bragging about who makes what income. I crave real, genuine friendships and connections.

For me, it seems the only people who genuinely want to connect and have a real conversation are anyone over the age of 35. I have no problems being friends with people older than me, and most times prefer it, but I agree on the activity level. Maybe active isn't the right word necessarily, but someone in their mid-twenties is into different things than someone in their 40s or 50s; priorities are different, energy levels are different, lifestyle choices and preferences are different, and life experience is different. All these things can make it more difficult to navigate a friendship with someone outside of our age group/range. I find it hard to meet any ostomate, let alone someone my age or close to it.

I totally get where you're coming from. Honestly, it's a struggle for me even within my own age group. I stay really active, always finding ways to grow, move, and explore. I've realized that makes me the odd one out. A lot of people around me seem like they've kind of given up or settled into routines that don't spark much excitement anymore.

I've always had this overly positive outlook on life, not the fake kind, but the kind that refuses to let life's punches take me down for long. That energy either attracts people or makes them uncomfortable, but I'd definitely rather stay true to it. Like you, I think I'm just looking for real, unfiltered connection without all the posturing or judgment. It's rare, but when it clicks, it's worth the wait hopefully.

If there were more people like that, grounded and genuinely open, the world would feel a bit less lonely.

You are very well spoken! I feel like you and I would definitely get along; it seems we already share similar perspectives. I genuinely think that age is just a number, and if we prepare our bodies while in our youth, we don't have to suffer so much as we age. I watched my mom battle with obesity and type II diabetes that she could reverse. I've watched her dedicate months to losing weight and (successfully) reversing her diabetes and then fall back and gain the weight again. It's like every time she would make progress and actually see the positive impact she was making on her health, she'd get scared and give up. I watched her participate in this cycle for the last 15 years, and she still says, "I'm going to lose the weight and get healthy for when I get older; I have to prepare for when I'm older." But she's 60. She is older. The time to have prepared was years and years ago.

Of course, there is always the present moment, and there is always a reason for her to choose her health, but preparing for when she's older isn't one of those reasons anymore. When you're in your 20s, 30s, and 40s, it's the PRIME time to get healthy and in shape. Healthy and in shape doesn't mean thin or skinny. But exercising daily, eating a well-balanced and nutritious diet, along with keeping your mental health stable, are all things we should be choosing for our health. Regardless of our age, we should be choosing our health. It seems that as we get older and get forced to work our lives away, we lose sight of our health. I think in today's society and economy, being healthy isn't a priority; it can't be oftentimes. Being healthy means having free time, having money, and having motivation (mental capacity). Our society doesn't foster a life of free time or extra money, not unless you're filthy rich.

When I meet people, I try not to have judgments or reservations because I don't know anyone's story other than my own. That's why age is just a number for me, because if we connect and you have a good heart, that's all I need in a friend. The rest seems to fall in line when you meet someone with a good ticker. That's why I'm with my partner, his heart. He's 5 years older than me; he's 30, and I'm about to be 25. Although there's a gap in experience and interests because he grew up in a different era, we still connect. I sure hope so anyway, lol. It's been almost 4 years, haha. I'm very lucky because we got together before my ostomy, so he stuck with me through getting it and hasn't changed his tune. I didn't think a man could love my body with an ostomy, let alone someone know what I looked like before and choose to stay after. I guess my self-esteem is f*cked, lmao.