MY NORMAL

MY OSTOMY IS MY NORMAL.  It follows, then, that my ostomy is normal.  My dictionary says that normal is the usual, typical, expected.  Precisely.  It’s all I know.  It’s there when I get up in the morning, it calls to me after every meal, and it lies down with me every night.  The best day of my life was when, years and years ago, in some long-forgotten moment of my past, I came to regard my ostomy as nothing unusual, i.e., normal.  In that special moment, I somehow managed to break free from the trauma of the past without even realizing that I was moving on.  It wasn’t a sudden thing; it was a process, over time, a matter of coming to grips with my new reality.  All of us know that what’s normal today wasn’t necessarily normal a few years ago.  Times change.  We change, voluntarily or due to circumstances.  Normal is not a static phenomenon.  Nor is there any reliable, acceptable universal standard.  Just as with everything else in life, we are our own measure of what’s ‘usual, typical, expected.’  My normal is what I go by, and that’s standard enough for me.  

Morning Henry,

Whilst your opening statement is something of 'computer logic' - it serves to underline what you so accurately put forward as the process/progress of transition!

"MY OSTOMY IS MY NORMAL. It follows, then, that my ostomy is normal."

I too found that the 'acceptance' of what has become 'normal' for me over many years - became/ becomes an integrated part of one's being [with a little b]. Notwithstanding that I dared to dream, and hoped that the TIES concept may offer an alternative system of management to try and ensure total independence into old age! [My 'expectation' was falsely 'constructed' in this particular element of my ostomy journey].

So yes, in the main, acceptance is a big part of 'normality' - true of many elements of our lives! But this does not preclude us from trying to 'push open the window' for fresh air from time to time!

However,

And here it comes, we must in my most humble opinion, 'remain open to potential' and be continually updating our understandings..... for the more we learn, the more we grow, -- fully --, into becoming 'Ourselves'.

I love your post Henry...... and can identify with everything that you say - but I am consciously always trying not to be either judgmental, or indeed, the most difficult thing, "NOT holding expectation"........ for in this, expectation needs constant adjustment - for I have not yet reached the point of disposing of it entirely! [I doubt if I ever will - but warrant that one may be momentarily happier without overdue expectation]

As ever, your posits are food for thought........

Wishing you a lovely weekend Henry

Thank you for sharing your daily thoughts.....

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ waves from the hills ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jayne

Thanks for the insight, Henry. I have had my colostomy for just over a year, and I have not reached complete acceptance of my new normal. Knowing that I am not alone and am supported and uplifted by my fellow ostomates on this site is more than enough for me now. It's all good.

I love this post. Thank you for normalizing something we're all managing right now. Some of us have shame, some have anxiety, and some are struggling to accept the new normal. Your words: "Normal is not a static phenomenon" are something I'll use moving forward with my therapy clients. Well said, my friend!