Naming and Talking to Your Stoma: Am I Alone?

Ok, so I'm new to all of this - I was told that giving your stoma a name can make things easier and can break the ice when talking about it with others who don't have an ostomy. My stoma's name is Jamal. My question is, does anyone else talk to their stoma, or am I the only crazy person who has conversations with their stoma?

I do occasionally, but it’s mostly in anger and he ( named Seymour) usually only talks shit.   
Hmmmm….come to think of it, a bit like some conversations after 60 years of wedded bliss…jb

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I never named my two stomas, but I definitely talk to them.

I tell my colostomy to "hush" and other less polite things when it gets noisy.

I tell them both to stop or behave when they are spewing output and I'm trying to change my appliance or clean up after an accident.

I've even been known to give little lectures when I'm out or going out, and I fear they are about to misbehave.

They may not have names, but we have lively conversations. 🤣

37 years never named mine, but each to their own. If it makes you feel more comfortable and goes towards helping you accept your stoma, it's all good.

You're not the only crazy one here, lol. I'm always talking to my stoma. It was in a very active mood earlier today. I told it my usual line, "Behave yourself, you little devil," but as always, it just ignored me and stopped when it was good and ready to.

I do sometimes speak to my stoma, but it's usually along the lines of... 'No, no, no... don't do that!'

Terry

Avoiding Ostomy Bag Leaking | Managing Ostomy Leaks with LeeAnne Hayden

LOL 😂 

You're not crazy. I have talked to mine, especially when they're acting up, and mine can be so noisy too. So I tell them to shush, and my husband does too. Ha ha 😂 He says no back chat when it starts. It's funny; if you can't make fun and have laughter, then we would all be miserable. xxx

Is abusing, berating, and insulting them the same as talking to them?

Nope, never talk to it; that's weird, in my opinion.

There's a weirdo in every group... in this case, it appears there are several of us. 🤣

Not only did I name my stoma, Marvin, after Marvin the Martian, but when he farts, I do talk to him. My mom also talks to him, and she prays for him too. At mealtimes, when we say our prayer, she always says, "and keep Marvin in your circle of protection." I think it gives my stoma character. He is a part of the family. He is a part of me. Sometimes I scold him too if he makes a mess by leaking or pushing his wafer off. I don't think it is crazy or weird at all. It is much easier to say "Marvin!" when he farts in public. Or when he farts at home for that matter. LOL I even own a shirt that says "Team Marvin Lifetime Member" because I am going to have him for my lifetime. I also have 2 Marvin the Martian shirts. LOL I think he looks like he is wearing a wafer. His little skirt thing looks to me like a wafer. LOL

I have definitely talked to my stoma, yelled at it, pleaded with it, and even said thank you (usually when inactive during a bag change).

I haven't thought to name my stoma until I recently joined this forum. But when you only have one creative bone in your body and it's broken most of the time, I'm not sure I'd come up with a cute and clever name for it. But I may try to come up with something.

Only when my stoma starts doing its imitation of a French horn. Then I implore it to stop talking crap.

Yeah, I talk to her all the time. It's kind of like recognizing and accepting what brought me to this point.

67 years and I have never spoken to my stoma. She has a name. The original name (when I had a conventional ileostomy) was Willie the Worm, named after a character on the Soupy Sales show. He was the sickest worm in all of Detroit! After my K pouch surgery, she became Rosebud. I don't talk to her, but I converse all day long with my dog, who is now deaf! I continue to talk to him.

Every cowboy needs a sidekick; Cisco had Poncho, so I named my pouch "Poncho."

I named my Fred. Nuses thought that was crazy. When Fred passes gas, I tell Fred to shut up.

Named mine "Little Buddy." He farts loudly sometimes, so I look down and reply, "Say Little Buddy." -Captain Jonas Grumby, Humor is good.

I named mine Delilah, and yes, I talk to her all the time. I am blessed that my co-workers know about her and are extremely supportive.

I almost always am telling her to be quiet or calm the fux down when trying to change... lol

Hi, and no, you are not crazy. I named my Wilbur, and he certainly has a mind of his own, spewing out crap and making the weirdest noises at the most inopportune times! Lol. Most of my friends and family know about it by now, so when it happens, I just smile and shrug. With new people, I just explain that I have a stoma, and as hard as I may want to, there is no way I can control the output or noises. So, I just say excuse me, and we go on with what we are doing. No one has said anything bad after they find out it is about the stoma. But it still gets a little embarrassing in a restaurant or places that are quieter when Wilbur gets rambunctious! Sometimes putting my hand over him muffles the noise some. At other times, not, so I just look around like, where did that come from? To make light of it. Hahaha. Gotta keep a sense of humor or stay home like a hermit, and that is no fun. Good luck and enjoy life!

I named mine Butt Butt because my husband teases that I have 2 butts. I don't really talk to it, but my stoma is very large, and I find myself rubbing it and patting it often, as you would a baby's butt. I do talk about it in the third person, though, when I'm speaking to my husband or friends. Nothing weird, I don't think. We have to learn how to accept and deal with this in our own ways.

When my stoma, Fred, goes to talking, I usually tell him hello. If he carries on the conversation too long, I ask him to stop, but he does not listen to me. Now my wife says hi to him on occasions when she hears him talking.

You are not alone in naming your stoma. I've had several revisions of my ileostomy. Names: Rosebud, Cherry Blossom, Tulip, Calla, Tiger Lily. As a florist, I thought names of flowers 🌺 would give them personality!

This was advice I was given by my Stoma Care Nurse 29 years ago. I am due to have another revision soon, so I have to find another name! Not sure which one yet.

Panda85

Interesting. I don't think of my stomas as my friends. I think of them as part of me, the same as my hair or my hands or whatever. I don't generally talk about myself in the third person, so it just seems weird to name parts of me.

Now I've always talked to myself. So I talk to my stomas the same as I talk to my hair when I'm having a bad hair day or my hands when they do something clumsy.

If it helps someone to name their stoma, they should do it. But I don't think it's necessary for everyone.

Followed Milton Hines avidly in NYC. He started doing stand-up in Sheepshead Bay. Loved Philo Kvetch, Onions Oregano, Bruno, Killer Ape, White & Black Fang. "Whaa?" I saw when he asked kids to send him the "green stuff" from their folks' wallets. I just thought he was being funny. The show got canceled. The kids' show was really adult.