I know that others have posted about this before - sorry for the repeat. But sometimes the specifics are different. So here it goes - my in-my-head conversation with myself now being put online.
I got my end ileostomy as a result of colon cancer. I agreed to an ostomy so that as much of the tumor could be removed as possible. When I woke up from the surgery, I had an ileostomy. The surgery was basically on an emergency basis, so I didn't get a chance to learn what having an ostomy would fully entail. I just wanted as much of the tumor out as possible. I believe I still have about half of my colon.
I have had a discussion with the surgeon about possibly reversing the ileostomy. We talked about what to generally expect if I had it reversed - the process of the colon reawakening will take months for timing and number of daily bowel movements to stabilize, etc.
At this point, it's almost an emotional decision. Not knowing what the future holds, what if I have it reversed, the colon cancer gets worse, and I end up needing another ostomy. Would I be okay (although not thrilled) with the reversal decision? Basically take the attitude of 'Hey, at least I gave it a try.' And at least I would have experience with ostomy life.
I went through the same process in deciding whether to take a chemo break. After 13 treatments every 2 weeks, I decided to first try going longer between treatments - initially every 3 weeks, then 4 weeks. I finally decided to try the chemo break, which I am still on (last treatment was early October). If at some point I have to go back to chemo, at least I tried.


