I have been away from this website for a short time. I decided to come back and see who's on here and what's going on. I'm looking for a friend who could turn into more than a friend. I'm lonely and hoping to find someone who has the same thing as I do so that it would not be an awkward situation.
Dlynn
Nov 01, 2025 3:52 pm
Jayne
Nov 01, 2025 4:14 pm
Bless you, Dlynn.
Fate favors those who are prepared... maybe to be 'open' to being 'found.'
Hope your soul's desire is a timely fulfillment.
Care for what you may 'wish for'... Good luck to all seekers... hoping that you will love what you may find...
And be equally surprised—in a good way—by that which finds you.
Best wishes
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ waves ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Jayne
MeetAnOstoMate is a remarkable community of 41,432 members.
“I mostly read and still feel like I belong.”
“Doctors took notes; they want others to find this website.”
“From midnight blowouts to big wins, there’s always a hand to hold.”
Posted by: Primeboy
Hi Mike and all. I am not sure how panoramic my perspective really is as my peripheral vision shrinks with each passing year. I can tell you that when I came to this website six years ago I was truly ;impressed by the positive attitudes of so many members, especially the younger folks who refused to let their ostomies define who they were or what they would become. I also came to appreciate that having an ostomy is not the same thing as having a disease. Pardon ;my pun now, but ostomies and cancer don't belong in the same bag. One is a solution, the other is a problem. Celebrating National Ostomy Day ;is also well outside my comfort zone. That's like celebrating National Wheel Chair Day. Come on!
I think there is a ;need for improved ;public awareness of ostomies, but I am not sure how that's best done. There ;remains ;some social stigma attached to our situation, and it's acutely felt among our young. We need to get out of the dark ages on this issue, but not by going 'in your face' to everyone else. I think Bill and NDY are 'spot-on' when it comes to telegraphing the right message to friends and family. People will know how to react when they ;see ;how we accept the cards we were dealt. I also appreciate the contribution some people here are making to this effort through their publications.
On a personal note, my son has been suffering from ulcerative colitis for years just like I did. I am very concerned because people with UC are at a higher risk for colon cancer. Years ago my GI told me to get annual colonoscopies to be on the safe side. I am glad I did because he eventually found pre-cancerous cells which led to several surgeries and my becoming an ostomate. Since then I have always ;conveyed a positive attitude to ;my son about wearing a bag because it has kept me alive to enjoy many more years with my loved ones. I think he got the message. We both go to the same gastroenterologist in NYC and get scoped on the same day. Father and Son moments!
Someone once wrote that our children are the letters we write to the future.
PB
Dlynn
Nov 01, 2025 4:18 pm
Thank you for your kind words. I don't know what's out there for me, but I am placing it in God's hands and, with the help of obstinacy, maybe it will happen for me.
Advertisement
Hollister
Living with an ostomy doesn’t mean you have to live with stoma fluid leakage or skin irritation.
Learn how convex skin barriers work and what benefits they offer.
Learn how convex skin barriers work and what benefits they offer.
Maried
Nov 01, 2025 4:51 pm
Enjoy your search.
Make sure you take it very slow with internet exchanges. Even on here, we have had scammers. Do not send money or share personal information until you can confirm the person is real.
I do internet dating, and before meeting, I do a Google search with their name and phone. If I see nothing to confirm their ID (LinkedIn, Facebook, etc.), they are hiding or not real; no meeting.
Never send money. If someone asks for money, they are a scammer.
Jayne
Nov 01, 2025 5:59 pm
You never know what will happen.... Maybe, as this is a broader site than a dating site, you are open to possibilities...
Waves from the hills
Edit:
Heed 'Married' words...... Good points....... Safety and caution!
When I said you never know what might happen, I would not wish to attract anything undesirable!
J
My Ostomy Journey: Jearlean | Hollister
sooziq
Nov 01, 2025 8:03 pm
He is out there someplace; you will find a nice man, I am sure! After my husband passed (after 51 years married), I did not think I would ever meet another nice guy! I did, just like hubby said I would--we knew there was no cure for Parkinson's. I did meet a great guy who does not mind my ileostomy at all; there are great guys out there. Just be careful and take your time. Fingers crossed for you. Yes, the loneliness is awful. Do you have a singles group of any kind near you? Church or something? I met my guy that way, as they do a background check on every member first. Yes, there was a hefty fee, but it was worth it to be safe.
rlevineia
Nov 09, 2025 5:17 pm
Many of us have the same issue. Fear, rejection, embarrassment. I dreamed my pouch busted during sex. ACK!! Made me shiver. The stigma exists, big time. Nevertheless, I do occasionally date. No intimacy. My local UOAA group dines out on holidays. They made me feel comfortable. I love dining out, worldwide.
Lima, Peru
Tokyo, Japan - sushi school
🔒 Login to see image
Beijing, China
Athens, Greece
🔒 Login to see image
Space Needle, Seattle
Maried
Nov 09, 2025 6:21 pm
Many men have a fear of sex after the age of 50. I had a friend (no ostomy) who stated he and his buddies have stopped dating because they feared that they could not perform at the same sexual level as in their youth. This is sad because there are so many ways to have intimate relations without intercourse, and to many women, that would be okay. 😀